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Is fair complexion a surety for success?

October 4, 2011

The obsession of us Indians with fair complexion is scaling new heights day by day.
Earlier fair complexion used to be must criteria for finding a good match in marriage market
But these days fair complexion has become an important prerequisite for getting success in life
If you are fair you get singing assignments, job promotions, new business opportunities, awards.
One can even buy bungalows, car or respect in the family/society.
New job avenues immediately come in the path of people who have suddenly become fair (thanks to the mushroom growth of fairness creams)
Not only girls even the boys have becomes obsessed with fair complexion
What happened to the Tall Dark Handsome concept?
Now days it has become Tall Fair Handsome.
I am sorry to say that anyone with dark complexion has got no hopes in life. His /her future is surely doomed.
Knowledge, creativity, caliber, intelligence has become secondary.
The essence of the day is fair complexion
Until or unless you are fair in colour you will not get confidence to face the world, the job interview, or finish your assignments,
So girls and boys, man and woman what are you doing? Go and grab some fairness cream else you will find yourself on the bottom step of the ladder of life.

Is being concerned about women right a crime?

March 26, 2011

Some of the comments i have heard in past few days

“Are You a feminist? You ,like other feminists are scaring the young girls off from marriage/ you and your talks about in laws problems, bad mother in laws is seeding the saplings of doubts in girls/ you people are instigating the young women /you people are influencing the young minds/ “tum log soye hue shero ko jaga rahi ho/—-, you are instigating gullible women to raise their voice against their husband and in laws/ you are causing family breakups so on and so forth”

“All these talks about women liberation, women rights, equality between the spouse is fuelling the women, you are provoking them, you are leading them to a path of marital discord, you want to break the happy married lives etc etc/ or maybe you yourself are victim so through your talks you are letting the whole world know your story otherwise how would you know so much about women’s issues”

Someone in a very sarcastic tone commented the other day —Ok so you are a feminist and gave me one of those funny looks.” You only write against men’, your posts on your blog are anti men. Are you a men hater? And if you are feminist and talk so much about women equality then why do you wear saris?

Does being feminist mean that one has to wear only pants?

How is my dress related to what I feel?

Is it that if some one wants to raise their voice against the violence on women then she should only wear pants?

I have been too stunned to react to these comments.

Is talking about women’s right a crime?

Why do people frown upon and look down on the word feminist. Is feeling concerned about some injustice being done a matter to be criticised?

Does raising  one’s voice against violation of human rights, or talking about openly about the pathetic conditions of some of the women makes me different from other women?

Yes i love donning all those things which we women are famous for , but it doesn’t meant that i cannot feel concerned about the women related issues

When i read about sexual assaults on women, the helplessness of women who are raped it pains me.

When i come across women being tortured, beaten, insulted by their in laws or husband i feel

Vulnerable and it hurts me.

When i read about women being victimized because of their sex I just don’t know what to do.

When i read about women abused, about domestic violence, about dowry demands, about the insults parents have to bear just because they have daughters I feel like crying.

When i read about how young girls get disillusioned with the institution of marriage, when their dreams of happy married life gets shattered just because of the over possessive mother in laws and their proprietorship rights over their sons

or when i come across young girls who were full of life and spirit and who suddenly find their spirited wings chopped, who find themselves entangled in the saas bahu  dramas I don’t know how to face them.

Or when i see parents of girls bowing down to unreasonable dictates of parents of sons just because the high mighty parents of son think that they have suddenly become very great

Or when the parents of marriageable sons suddenly start placing unreasonable demands on the parents of girls, or the girl’s parents start bowing down to the dictates of the boys side just because the boy and his parents have very generously consented to oblige the girl by allowing their son to get married to the girl   what is one supposed to do?

Just sit quietly and watch member of my sex being victimised, insulted, treated like some furniture or door mat, or just an object of sexual gratification or a punch bag on whom the husband can vent out all anger and shortcomings?

And tell me what are we doing?

How many of so called feminists have really helped the women who are abused?

Just writing and sharing our fears, our concern and views?

And i don’t think there is any restriction of airing our thoughts, after all we all have freedom of speech and expression.

do we raise daughters to get killed by inlaws?

March 10, 2011

Do the parents cherish, pamper, educate and treat like princess their daughters so that they get humiliated, ill-treated, insulted, murdered or forced to commit suicide by the hands of inlaws and husbands?

I cannot just imagine the shock of the parents when they come to know about the death ( either by murder or by suicide due to the atrocities of inlaws and husbands).

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2011/03/10&PageLabel=3&EntityId=Pc00319&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

In this particular case the parents must be worked hard to make their daughter a chartered accountant, a degree which many boys struggle hard to get. The victim must have slogged like many other chartered accountants to obtain this degree; she must have put in extra efforts to make a place for herself in this male dominated profession.

9 years of marriage, two children, a good profession — even then the victim committed suicide, not only that she flung her two children first and then she jumped.

How torturous the situation must have become, how much she must have endured before taking this extreme step?

To kill one’s children and then kill her –clearly indicates that the inlaws and husband must have crossed their limits to hurt her. Their insults must have been beyond her endurance level. That is why she took the decision to end her life. Not only that to kill the children also means she was not sure of her children being taken care of after her death.

Why did she tolerate such a behaviour from her inlaws? What is the use of such high education? Why did she not leave her marriage, her husband and in laws?

She was financially independent, educated and from a good family—then why did she not go back to her parent’s house, why she did not inform her parents about it?

Was it the fear of “LOG KYA KAHENGE’ or the societal pressures, or the fear of her parents and she becoming a laughing stock, or did the parents forced her to compromise, adjust and tolerate the humiliation. Was she forced to comply to “ sasural se earthy he nikalni chahiye. Enter the in laws house as a bride and leave as a dead body” ?

the father says that the inlaws were harassing their daughter. if he knew about the harassment then why did he not do any thing about it? Was he along with his rest of the family testing the patience of the victim?Were they waiting to applaud  her endurance capacity?

This is the common story in all cases of brides getting murdered or forced to commit suicide. The parent are aware of the hellish life their daughter is living but even then they do not do any thing about it. just some advice to her to adjust, compromise and become an ideal hindi serials type bahu– go on suffering and suffering. Probably they wait for some miracle to happen which will convert the stone hearted inlaws and husbands into loving, caring human beings who will treat their daugther in laws/wives with dignity , respect and love.

I shiver when I think about the future of women in their matrimonial life

Do we raise our daughters, marry them just to get humiliated and insulted and then killed  by the acts of some beasts called as inlaws and husbands?

Yeh jeena bhi koi jeena hai

March 1, 2011

some of the common dietary restrictions for all human beings and their effects on us

  1. bread  has maida and baking soda which is bad for health  means  all sandwiches are out.
  2. vada pavs or samosas  are fried that too in palm oil which is just not good for heart . moreover same oil is used again and again for frying which is again not good for health—means all fried stuff from out or even at home is a taboo.
  3. Trans fats are bad for heart and biscuits have trans fats, more over biscuits are made from maida, even the so called high fibre biscuits have maida, trans fats  —- biscuits are out
  4. The delicious taste of hotel food is because of  cream, oil, and  soda – all three are again bad for health so hotel food is out
  5. Sodium is bad for health as it lead to high blood pressure, heart problems and kidney problems so use less of salt, avoid food stuff which has baking soda or sodium carbonate–  means all papads, achars, bakery products are out
  6. Too much of fruits will surely cause sugar level to rise – fruit juices are out
  7. Coconut is bad for heart— coconut chutney, thai curry is out  —- dosa with no chutney
  8. Most of the khakhras (except for absolute dry khakhra) all are made using Dalda which is again trans fat that means even the khakras are out.
  9. Food cooked in hotels and during marriages by the caterers are not cooked hygienically – vegetables are not washed, cereals are not cleaned properly, food is cooked with dirty hands etc etc   hotel food and food prepared by caterers are out.
  10. Most of the snacks have oil so———————-
  11. colas are just empty calories, all squashes are just sugar syrups so————
  12. sweets are full of sugar/ghee/fats ———————

What is the point in slogging day and day out to earn money, what is the use of money when the same cannot be used to pamper the taste buds? 🙂

For people like me who live to eat—all these doctors, dieticians are the worst villains. 😦

I know one can enjoy all available food in moderation and all these dietary restrictions are for our own self  and our betterment and health but what about the taste sensory buds, what about relishing each morsel of food ?

Doctors say one should not have more than 1 tsp of salt per day

Now imagine one item in breakfast, normal dal roti, rice and vegetable in lunch, some light snacks in the evening and again normal food in the evening plus the natural salt present in our vegetables, fruits and other food items

The daily intake definitely exceeds the daily requirement even if minimum quantity of salt is use

This is just one example. Same is the case with sugar, fats carbohydrates

Any one who thinks that planning a healthy meal is child’s play is badly mistaken.

Honestly it is so difficult to plan daily menus keeping all the dietary restrictions in mind.

What is one supposed to do? Sit with a measuring scale, nutritive values of all food items and a calculator before planning each meal and on top of it dash out tasty, delicious food

Yeh jeena bhi koi jeena hai? —- khaye to khaye kya?—–jaayen to kahan jaaye

once again daughter not safe with father

February 23, 2011

once again the same story  MAN HELD FOR RAPING TEEN DAUGHTER FOR TWO YEARS

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2011/02/23&PageLabel=5&EntityId=Ar00501&ViewMode=HTML

 

https://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/daughters-not-safe-with-fathers/

once again i am too stunned and shocked to read it

can a daughter ever feel safe with her own father. a father whom she looks upon, whom she idolizes, who is responsible for her being on this world,

can a mother ever leave her daugther alone with her husband?

CAN,T WE DO ANY THING ABOUT IT?

and save young girls, their faith in their parents, restore their trust in the safe haven called father?

 

https://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/daughters-not-safe-with-fathers/

Is it 7 khoon maaf or is it Million Khoon maaf ?

February 22, 2011

Is it 7 Khoon maaf?

I don’t think so

It is millions of khoon maaf to the the whole team of this nonsensical movie

I am no film critic so don’t want to go into the technalities of the movie

But one thing is sure

The whole team of this movie has gone away with millions of khoon maaf

Khoon of  time of millions of people ( 2 and half hour of movie, time spent in planning to see the movie, book the tickets, actually going to the theaters , and then coming back and of course pulling one’s hair)

Khoon of money spent on watching this movie in theaters (tickets, buying those popcorns and colas plus transportation)

Khoon of the relations between the people who went to watch the movie together (each one must have cursed the other for taking him along for this movie)

Khoon of our expectations over the movie and the desire to watch its one and only one passable song.( darling ghar mein baith kar time pass karo)

 

Why this discrimination with our own people?

February 21, 2011

 

I am not very politically oriented person and I have nothing against any person of any nationality or country.

But this thought just occurred to me

I was warned against keeping servants from Bihar or UP.

The common advice given by people is that as the servants come from very poor and backward areas, they are bound to resort to stealing. And this generalization has come from some stray cases of servants getting caught or indulging in petty thefts (at times big ones also)

I am very thankful to such concerned friends and well wishers

But then just one thought came

If we are asked to exercise extra caution against the people from our country then why don’t we use this discretion when dealing with people from other countries?

We all know that they are responsible for most of the terrorist attacks and activities in India,  even then we don’t mind inviting them for our TV shows, or for our games or for using their voice in our movies?

For once I ditto the thoughts of Shiv Sena

We invite their artists to our country, give them award, pay them handsomely to appear in our reality shows, act in our movies, and sing for our artists.

Granted we are a generous lot of citizens and we Indians don’t carry grudges against any one, we are very forgiving, we are very big hearted , for us every one is equal

But then don’t we expect the same reciprocation from them. How many artist from our country have to gone to neighbouring country to take part in their shows or sing in their movies.

EK HAATH LE EK HAATH DE

Doesn’t this philosophy hold good for us?

Are we in so much awe with their artists that we allow them to supersede our own artists and willingly give them what can easily be given to our own people?

Or are we so thick skinned that the inhuman acts of those people doesn’t affect us? Or are we immune to the terrorist acts of those people.

I am surprised at the benevolence of so many Indians that they are ready to let go the barbaric acts of them .

If we really believe in the ideals of Gandhiji  “ put forward your second cheek if someone slaps on u the other one” then why doesn’t this hold good when dealing with our fellow citizen

Khabhi Khabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai  — post No. 1 ( I am going to pen down my many thoughts which keep dancing in my brain)