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Is being concerned about women right a crime?

March 26, 2011

Some of the comments i have heard in past few days

“Are You a feminist? You ,like other feminists are scaring the young girls off from marriage/ you and your talks about in laws problems, bad mother in laws is seeding the saplings of doubts in girls/ you people are instigating the young women /you people are influencing the young minds/ “tum log soye hue shero ko jaga rahi ho/—-, you are instigating gullible women to raise their voice against their husband and in laws/ you are causing family breakups so on and so forth”

“All these talks about women liberation, women rights, equality between the spouse is fuelling the women, you are provoking them, you are leading them to a path of marital discord, you want to break the happy married lives etc etc/ or maybe you yourself are victim so through your talks you are letting the whole world know your story otherwise how would you know so much about women’s issues”

Someone in a very sarcastic tone commented the other day —Ok so you are a feminist and gave me one of those funny looks.” You only write against men’, your posts on your blog are anti men. Are you a men hater? And if you are feminist and talk so much about women equality then why do you wear saris?

Does being feminist mean that one has to wear only pants?

How is my dress related to what I feel?

Is it that if some one wants to raise their voice against the violence on women then she should only wear pants?

I have been too stunned to react to these comments.

Is talking about women’s right a crime?

Why do people frown upon and look down on the word feminist. Is feeling concerned about some injustice being done a matter to be criticised?

Does raising  one’s voice against violation of human rights, or talking about openly about the pathetic conditions of some of the women makes me different from other women?

Yes i love donning all those things which we women are famous for , but it doesn’t meant that i cannot feel concerned about the women related issues

When i read about sexual assaults on women, the helplessness of women who are raped it pains me.

When i come across women being tortured, beaten, insulted by their in laws or husband i feel

Vulnerable and it hurts me.

When i read about women being victimized because of their sex I just don’t know what to do.

When i read about women abused, about domestic violence, about dowry demands, about the insults parents have to bear just because they have daughters I feel like crying.

When i read about how young girls get disillusioned with the institution of marriage, when their dreams of happy married life gets shattered just because of the over possessive mother in laws and their proprietorship rights over their sons

or when i come across young girls who were full of life and spirit and who suddenly find their spirited wings chopped, who find themselves entangled in the saas bahu  dramas I don’t know how to face them.

Or when i see parents of girls bowing down to unreasonable dictates of parents of sons just because the high mighty parents of son think that they have suddenly become very great

Or when the parents of marriageable sons suddenly start placing unreasonable demands on the parents of girls, or the girl’s parents start bowing down to the dictates of the boys side just because the boy and his parents have very generously consented to oblige the girl by allowing their son to get married to the girl   what is one supposed to do?

Just sit quietly and watch member of my sex being victimised, insulted, treated like some furniture or door mat, or just an object of sexual gratification or a punch bag on whom the husband can vent out all anger and shortcomings?

And tell me what are we doing?

How many of so called feminists have really helped the women who are abused?

Just writing and sharing our fears, our concern and views?

And i don’t think there is any restriction of airing our thoughts, after all we all have freedom of speech and expression.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 27, 2011 2:23 pm

    its funny to see the comments……does being a feminist means that one has to hate a man??? I do not think so….there were many males who were involved in the feminist movements of 18th century through to the 20th century…i guess you write against crimes against women and not just against men… we are democratic and have the right to say what we want….keep writing and protesting against crime…:-)

  2. March 29, 2011 8:24 am

    These are common questions that are asked of men and women who speak for women. Men who speak up against gender bias are told they are gay, or Joru Ke Gulaam, or they are trying to impress women.

    I think some of these questions are genuine questions. A lot of people think anybody who says a girl should object to abuse is against Indian culture and family values.
    What does that mean? Indian values support unhappy, abusive and violent marriages?

    How women dress has always been everybody’s business, if you wear a sari you must stay in the kitchen, if you wear jeans you better switch to sari when your in-laws are around.

  3. April 21, 2011 6:37 pm

    quite interesting and appreciative.. I must say its a readers delight to read most of your posts. 🙂

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