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do we raise daughters to get killed by inlaws?

March 10, 2011

Do the parents cherish, pamper, educate and treat like princess their daughters so that they get humiliated, ill-treated, insulted, murdered or forced to commit suicide by the hands of inlaws and husbands?

I cannot just imagine the shock of the parents when they come to know about the death ( either by murder or by suicide due to the atrocities of inlaws and husbands).

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2011/03/10&PageLabel=3&EntityId=Pc00319&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T

In this particular case the parents must be worked hard to make their daughter a chartered accountant, a degree which many boys struggle hard to get. The victim must have slogged like many other chartered accountants to obtain this degree; she must have put in extra efforts to make a place for herself in this male dominated profession.

9 years of marriage, two children, a good profession — even then the victim committed suicide, not only that she flung her two children first and then she jumped.

How torturous the situation must have become, how much she must have endured before taking this extreme step?

To kill one’s children and then kill her –clearly indicates that the inlaws and husband must have crossed their limits to hurt her. Their insults must have been beyond her endurance level. That is why she took the decision to end her life. Not only that to kill the children also means she was not sure of her children being taken care of after her death.

Why did she tolerate such a behaviour from her inlaws? What is the use of such high education? Why did she not leave her marriage, her husband and in laws?

She was financially independent, educated and from a good family—then why did she not go back to her parent’s house, why she did not inform her parents about it?

Was it the fear of “LOG KYA KAHENGE’ or the societal pressures, or the fear of her parents and she becoming a laughing stock, or did the parents forced her to compromise, adjust and tolerate the humiliation. Was she forced to comply to “ sasural se earthy he nikalni chahiye. Enter the in laws house as a bride and leave as a dead body” ?

the father says that the inlaws were harassing their daughter. if he knew about the harassment then why did he not do any thing about it? Was he along with his rest of the family testing the patience of the victim?Were they waiting to applaud  her endurance capacity?

This is the common story in all cases of brides getting murdered or forced to commit suicide. The parent are aware of the hellish life their daughter is living but even then they do not do any thing about it. just some advice to her to adjust, compromise and become an ideal hindi serials type bahu– go on suffering and suffering. Probably they wait for some miracle to happen which will convert the stone hearted inlaws and husbands into loving, caring human beings who will treat their daugther in laws/wives with dignity , respect and love.

I shiver when I think about the future of women in their matrimonial life

Do we raise our daughters, marry them just to get humiliated and insulted and then killed  by the acts of some beasts called as inlaws and husbands?

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. March 10, 2011 4:14 pm

    She left a note holding nobody responsible for her death – I wonder if we will ever know what happened. Really, really sad. One of the kids was still alive when taken to the hospital. Can’t imagine how she did this too…

    • March 10, 2011 6:27 pm

      that is Indian woman for you. after all the torture , insutles, ill treatment still thinks about the inlaws and husband.this is what we are given as JANAMGHUTTI right from birth, better to die than to raise voice against them.

  2. March 10, 2011 6:38 pm

    What about the Indian ma-ki-mamta Anju?

  3. March 11, 2011 10:00 am

    IHM maa ki mamta is there, but pativrata dharam takes precedence over it. many a times mothers wants to help the daughters in distress but then even their hands are tied by our culture, their dependence on husbands and fear of inlaws and husbands.
    very few women have the guts to stand up to their husbands and face the consequences
    worst part is it is the mother who always sings the lullabies of family honour, adjustments, compromise and patience

  4. March 12, 2011 4:27 pm

    a very sorry state of affairs…What would the poor parents be feeling…I never understand that how can we being humans commit such actions…Women in our country need to go a long way to get their rights intact!

  5. March 18, 2011 11:33 pm

    Why every time I see people just ask for sympathy, why don’t you agree that your selection was wrong. Your question is “Do we raise daughters to get killed by in laws”. So far as i have seen this world, my answer is yes. Even girl is sometimes responsible for her such situation.
    We forgot a person is to be judged by his nature and not by his caste.
    And usually every girl’s parent look for caste, taking advantage of situation her future in laws asks for dowry and even girl have got no problems when they ask for that.
    They select a family which with open heart assure that they are welcoming girl in family just because of money, so when the money will end their love will end.

    Really i don’t feel pity I feel angry not only for their families but for those girls themselves because the reality is that dowry is crime and every girl have right to select her man when she gets 18 then why she don’t select a man who loves her than the man of her caste or the man selected by her parents or relatives.

    And really I hate that stupid concept of Bhartia Nari which leads to their own shameful and pitiful death. Come on its not movie or mythology come out of your dreams and know some sweet truth its not woman who needs man, its man who needs woman. When every Indian girl will realize this coins will turn.

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