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Marriage – realisation of so many dreams!!!!!!!

July 5, 2010

Just came back after attending a marriage.

Although it was not as lavish as the earlier one I had written few months back

https://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/2009/06/29/stand-up-young-generation/

But yes, what is a marriage function without the traditional ceremonies, attires, lovely ladies in heavy saris and huge jewellery, people dancing to all the peppy numbers, the baarat, the big crowd of guests assembling from all parts , meeting old relatives, lots of yummy dishes, the full family involved in taking care of the guests and providing all possible comforts.

The traditional ceremonies make one feel proud of one’s heritage and rich culture and thanks to the Hindi movies and serials the age old rituals have come back in fashion

These days girls and boys want all the rituals (slightly modified as per the latest times). The feeling of doing just for the sake of doing or to do to make elders happy is not there but they perform all these with real sincerity and a feeling of pride

Doesn’t it sound like so much fun and something to look forward to?

How much planning goes in the one marriage is just unbelievable.

Of course in our culture as soon as the child is born the parents start dreaming about the child’s marriage.

Once the engagement is fixed then starts the real exercise, shopping for the best of the things, best venues, mouth watering dishes, decorations, gifts etc

And this is not a trend only in India but even in other countries the parents go to any length to give a life time remembrance to their children at the time of their marriage. Parents spare no limits to make this an occasion worth remembering for their children.

Even the couple enters the matrimonial life with such dreams and expectations

During this marriage I was silently observing the pride on the faces of the parents and the close relatives who were busy taking care of everything without even a trace of fatigue or irritation on their faces. The couple and the parents were unable to hide their happiness.

It was such a festive occasion which made every parent with children of marriageable age dream about their own children’s marriage.

I could hear parents planning about the marriage of their children sitting there and going into a dream world of wishful thinking of outdoing the arrangements made by the present one.

Just one thought suddenly crossed my mind that how those parents and couples must be feeling if anything goes wrong in any marriage after the realization of the dreams of parents and the young couple. How devastating it must be for all of them?

Parents spend their life savings, their time in giving the best of everything to their children. They plan the whole marriage with such dreams of happiness for the children in their eyes but suppose the couple is not able to adjust to each other? Suppose the couple separates because of non compatibility or some other issues? Suppose the marriage breaks after some time?

Similarly the girl enters the new life with so much expectation, the mother in law performs the marriage of her son with so much pride but then what goes wrong in their relations after a short time only? Their personal false egos take precedence and shatter their dreams.

Do the childless couples feel jealous and feel envious of the happy parents?

But one thing is sure that marriages are occasions to look forward to, enjoy, reviving old relations, relishing our culture and above all to dream about happy days, to dream about children’s marriage, to dream about a new life and of course dream about grand children( the ultimate result of a marriage – LOL)

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. July 5, 2010 6:10 pm

    It is true that parents look forward to the marriages of their children. I for one would like to see through all such functions-occasions with “vidhi”
    In case,marriage does not work out for any reason, well, it is just too bad.

  2. July 5, 2010 7:45 pm

    In broader terms, its a gamble because no body can predict with authority that the marriage can be a smooth sailing. Parents can hope for only the best, rest is their fate.

  3. July 6, 2010 9:49 am

    some people say marriage is a big risk and to some extent they are right too, as parents we can only give the best to our children but we cannot really change the destiny, similarly i believe every couple should give their best in their relationship and hope that it goes forever. My baby sis attends wedding only for food..LOL she loves the exotic varieties of food that we get in wedding especially italian 😀 somehow i am not in favor of spending lakhs and lakhs of rupees on wedding, i think its quite a lot waste of money but than everyone has their own opinions. but definately i agree to one thing marriages are happy occassions where dreams usually meet reality 🙂

    • July 7, 2010 5:36 am

      It is good ur kid sis attends weddings only for food 🙂 at least she is not expecting anything else. It is great expectations that lead to great disappointments. If parents and the prospective couples spend more time on understanding spousal compatibility and each other than planning the feast and decorations I guess many disasterous unions can be prevented.

      The longivity of any union is not dependent on how many vidhis and rituals were how correctly performed. It depends on how committed all stakeholders are to make it work. When parents treat grownup men as juveniles and new bride as a horses to break in into new household what good can one expect.

      Yes, indeed marriages are an occassion to interospect how it can be turned into happy future together be it the couple or the two families.

      Peace,

      Desi Girl

  4. July 6, 2010 9:28 pm

    I don’t what the big deal is about marriages are!

  5. July 6, 2010 9:29 pm

    Sorry for the grammatical error, was lost somewhere:)

  6. Jack permalink
    July 9, 2010 10:31 pm

    Anju,

    Nice account of marriage celebrations. And you very rightly brought out what if marriage goes sour. I have written about expectations in marriage in 3 parts, from boy, girl and their parents side. Do try to read and give your valuable views. When something goes wrong for whatever be the reason it is absolutely heart breaking. Egos are the main culprit.

    Take care

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