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Father dear Father

June 19, 2010

While coming home yesterday I saw huge hoarding on the road “Father’s day. Do not forget to wish him on this day. Make this day special for him.

Hearing this suddenly I got out of my trance and said Oh God! I have not wished my father as yet. What should I do to make this day worth remembering for him?

But then sat with a jolt.

Where would I go and wish him? How to wish him? Does anyone know where everyone goes once they leave this world?

Lucky are the ones who have the shoulder of their fathers to lean on, lucky are the ones whose fathers are there to give them shelter from scorching sun rays, pouring monsoon and icy winters, luckier are the ones whose fathers are besides them so save them from the ups and downs of life.

Why did he have to leave me when I needed his advice, his guidance his practical approach to life and his courage the most?

Who will pat my back and hold my hand and ask me to stand erect with confidence and face the world.

But then these are the ways of life.

May be his leaving me was his way of pushing me to a life of self decision making, a life where I will have to step into his shoes and become the guide and advisor to my children.

May be he left because he thought that I have become matured and strong enough the weather all the storms of life.

I think I must thank him for giving me this chance to become independent and self sufficient.

While I was having a memorable journey in the bygone days of my time with my father and remembering one of the best fathers a girl can have, flashed an apt advertisement (to the emotions I was experiencing )on one of the channels of TV

It showed a Bride and groom walking down the aisle and suddenly the girl stumbles upon something and she is about to fall but the groom saves her from falling and holds her in his arms. And next shot is of the father who is watching the whole thing. And suddenly he goes back in flash back and remembers how he used to save his daughter from falling in similar situations. Then again the camera is flashed on father’s face. The longing, concern, love and affection is very beautifully shown on his face. For a second he steps forward then stops himself and lets the groom help his daughter. And then he pats the boy and smiles. And then follow the publicity of the product which I just ignored.

Watching this like any mother who sees or reads anything remotely concerned with daughter’s marriage, tears veiled in my eyes. And I started relating and dreaming of my loved one’s marriage. But simultaneously I was engulfed with many thoughts of my relation with my father and father and daughter’s relation in general

As the women are more expressive and demonstrative, much has been written and known about their feelings, emotions and expressions with relation to her children but very little attention is paid to the inner turmoil of father (he is supposed to be the strong one in the family after all)

I wondered how a father feels when his beautiful princess gets married. Right from the moment the daughter is born, most of the fathers develop parental neurosis i.e. they become afraid that his precious girl may go ashtray. They feel that it their duty to impose rules about dating and whom she will date, what company will she keep etc etc.

A Father is always afraid that some boy will take advantage of his cherished one. He wants to monitor each and every moment of his treasure.

Then how he must be feeling when he himself gives away his daughter to some stranger happily? (Although it is a known fact in a father’s eye no boy is worth his revered one and no one can be compared to his dear daughter).

Like the father in the advertisement every father must be feeling reluctant to let go his daughter and must be undergoing many apprehensions whether the boy for his dear one will take care of her or not, whether he is the right choice or not. And then with heavy heart he allows some unknown person to drive away his apple of eye in another world away from him. How he must be feeling to realize that now onwards his place in his loved one’s life will become secondary and someone else will be there to take care of each and every need of hers and protect her from all the misgivings?

Even my father must have felt the same when I got married ( after all I was his special daughter) and I am sure my husband will be feeling the same.Like my husband who thinks that his daughter is the best ,even my father must have felt the same.

I distinctly remember him asking me after I received my first letter from my husband, “did he write good letter? Actually he meant was it a letter dripping with love.

If he had his way he would have loved to read all my letters (although I let him read one or two to quench his curiosity)

I am very lucky to have had nurturance from my dad. He was the one who encouraged me to be adventurous; he introduced me to the word of reading, music that too gazals, playing cards and so many other things. His presence always gave me the confidence to go anywhere in the world and meet complete strangers with ease.

Many a times while dealing with my children I have tried to analyze my father’s reaction in similar situation and then I have corrected myself.

Two things which I can never forget about my father is

(1) his confidence in all his children and telling my brother and sisters and ofcourse me ,“come and tell me yourself if you have done anything which you should not have done. So that when some outsider tells me about your act I should be able to say it with confidence that I know about it”

(2) his optimistic and positive attitude in any crisis.

I always try to copy him, his attitude, his style in my life and especially with my children. I hope my way of dealing with situations in life meets with his approval and he feels proud of me wherever he is.

Dad      HAPPY FATHERS DAY I wish you all the best wherever you are

And do not worry your children are doing good and managing things their way following your footsteps , although stumbling many times but then your advices, your strength your experiences help them once again stand on their feed and face the situations with more vigor, zeal and confidence.

Just thinking about my dad, writing about him I am feeling rejuvenated and energized to deal with the turmoil of life.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. June 19, 2010 6:44 pm

    A great post on a special day.
    In my opinion, all the daughters are very special to their father, you must have been too.
    Mine is .
    A very happy father’s day

  2. Ambi permalink
    June 19, 2010 7:13 pm

    I am so sorry to read these touching lines dear.. Those lines reminded me a lo of valuable things.. Wel, hop ur dad can read this with a humid n pleasing heart.. Grt post..

  3. June 20, 2010 3:55 am

    I know exactly what yo mean .. I wish i know where papa is ..
    a beautiful article …

    I am sure your dad is watching and looking at you and proud of you …

    Happy fathers day to you

  4. tushaar permalink
    June 20, 2010 2:53 pm

    amazing—de way u gave words to ur feelings is just awesome,,,,i totally agree that father is equally important in life as mother,,,,i love my papa so much,,,and today me so sure that ur paap will be very proud of u,,,

  5. Nilanjan Bhattacharya permalink
    June 21, 2010 4:34 pm

    a very nice post indeed best of luck for the fathers day contest
    do read and comment at my post too,thanks in

  6. June 21, 2010 7:32 pm

    A very beautiful post, Anju. I am sure your father is proud of you!

  7. June 22, 2010 1:50 am

    Yeah, my Dad is a sort of my litmus test for this experiment of my life.
    And I’m sure wherever your father is, he is looking out for you and is happy about you. A touching one!!

  8. June 23, 2010 5:13 pm

    aah happy fathers day from me too you have poured your heart out here 🙂

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