A husband like Ram????????
Elders often bless young people as “ Ram Sita ki Jodi jaise bano/ May you find a husband like Ram/ Ram Sita ki Jodi lag rahi hai” .
Are they blessing the young ones or cursing them?
For me to get a husband like Ram is no blessing. I am not trying to hurt the religious sentiments of any one or criticizing Hinduism but just sharing my views
Does anyone want a husband who was more concerned and bothered about the society, his family, his reputation, people’s opinion than the concern about his life partner?
Some known facts from Ram’s life
1. When He agreed to a life of exile for 14 years he didn’t even think once about his wife. What will happen to her when he leaves for 14 years? Being husband was it not his duty to think about his wife?
2. During the 14 years he was in exile he was to observe the life of Sadhu and celibacy that means he was not supposed to have any matrimonial relations with his wife Sita for full 14 years. Does it not amount to cruelty? As per our Indian law this definitely is a case of cruelty and there are reliefs available in our Law . Granted she herself opted for it but do we want our daughters to live a life like that?
3. Admitted that he fought with Ravan and brought back Sita but then what? She was made to give Agni Prakisha to prove her chasteness, her integrity and her commitment to her husband
4. once back to normal life , just because some people commented on her stay at Ravan’s place Ram literally threw her out of his life and kingdom, without even informing her the reason and that too when she was pregnant. And left her in jungle.
5. He never bothered to find about the whereabouts of his wife or whether she was dead or alive.
6. He refused to acknowledge his children, rather asked his wife publically to prove that they were his children.
For a minute we may agree that for a king the opinion of his people is more important than in that case wonder why he didn’t step down from the throne to give support and to be with his wife and children? That means for him his kingdom, his status as a king was more important than his wife and children.
7. He may have loved her , He may have suffered while she was thrown out, he may have spent sleepless nights without her but the fact remains that he did not consider her, her well being at all.
What is use of loving a person or caring for him/her when one does not respect her/him, does not consider him/her to be human being? Do we want husbands like him for ourselves or for our daughters?
For me to get the respect which I deserve as an individual, as a fellow human being, is more important than tall claims of love. If a husband cannot stand up to his wife, if his opinions and decisions get swayed by the public opinion then what is the use of emotions like love in such a relation?