When is the right time?
Two newlywed girls ——
First one just after few weeks of marriage comes back from her matrimonial house because of some matrimonial problems. There were personality clashes between her and husband and inlaws, some shooting of taunts, some exchange of words. The parents didn’t allow her to go back and helped her apply for divorce.
In the case of the second girl the parents forced the girl to go back and adjust. Few days later the girl committed suicide/forced to commit suicide/ murdered. The parents cried that why did they force the girl to go back? Why didn’t they realize the magnitude of the problem?
In the first case someone said that parents should have made the couple realize that adjustment problems are there in the initial stages. As, these days both boys and girls are pampered by their parents, all their whims and fancies are paid heed to by the parents, The children these days are used to getting things as per their demands and wish. So it becomes difficult for them to adjust to new relations, new demands, new responsibilities and new expectations. They lack patience and the desire to compromise and make adjustments. The parents should have helped the couple understand, adjust and compromise.
In the second case the comment was that parents were responsible for the death of the daughter. When she had come to them with her problems she should not have been sent back. The parents should have taken the matter in their hands and saved the life of the girl.
It is normally the case with most of the parents that due to fear of society, their Izzat, status in the society, future of other unmarried children they force their daughters to go to the inlaws place and become a victim of domestic violence.
Although it is neither easy to satisfy the society or put a restrain to the talks. Human beings have the tendency to oppose and comment on the acts of the others
But when the right stage for the parents to intervene is?
Should they take action on the onset of first SOS call from their daughter? Or they should act as per the first case of public opinion? And send her back after helping her understand the responsibilities of a married life.
Or till when the parents should wait to take any action? Should it be after the second such SOS call from the daughter or the third?
But suppose if they send the daughter back and the girl succumbs to the pressure and harassment won’t they feel guilty all through their lives? and if they decide the end the marriage at the first sign of dispute, won’t they feel guilty that they did not try to save the marriage by helping the budding relation?