Expectations – the killer of relationship
It’s a fact. If one wants to kill any relation, destroy the bond between two people just start expecting from each other and there goes the love and affection leaving behind the residue of unhappiness, disharmony and discontentment.
Expectations are very natural and inevitable in any relation.
Between parents and children expectations doesn’t lead to many issues ( provided every thing is going smoothly).Parents expect their children to respect them, to obey them, to make a life of theirs, children expects parents to love them, take care of them, provide for them, support them. And most of the time these expectations take the shape of reality.
Expectations are there when we post something in our blog. We expect fellow bloggers to read our views and share their comments.
Expectations are there with the politicians, with the Government ,even with God.
Expectations create havoc in lives when it is between husband and wife, married brothers and sisters, between daughter in laws and her relatives from the inlaws side.
“You forgot my birthday”, “I expected you to present me a gift—- “ “ I expected you to take a holiday when I was sick” , “ I expected you to call me after every few hours”
“I expected you to take care of my family”, “I expected you to be there when I needed you”, “I expected you to bring up the children properly, “I expected you to take me out for an outing every holiday” so on and so forth. The list is unending
And when these expectations are not fulfilled by the person from whom we expect then it leads to arguments, fights discontentment finally resulting in breakdown of relation.
Both the parties carry the burden of non fulfillment of their desires by other person throughout the life, unnecessary giving tension and disillusionment, rent free accommodation in their life and mind and thus jeopardizing the chances of a happy life.
Amongst the siblings, especially after the marriage expectations often leads to sibling disharmony, strangeness, jealousy and distances in hearts.
Between marital couples it results in continuous nagging, harassment, arguments ending in mudslinging at each other.
The person expecting from other should also realize that the other person would also expect the same from the first person
To expect is a two way process. If one wants his expectations to be realized then he should also be prepared to come up to the desires of the other person (which is generally not there).
I often wonder why we can’t carry on a relation without expecting anything from the other person? No expectation no chances of any heart break
Take each day each moment as it comes.
If unexpectedly we are blessed with some thing which gives us happiness, full fills our dreams we are definitely on cloud nine but if there is nothing then no loss no gain.
But then we are human beings. Although I have written a long post on not expecting anything from anyone but deep in my heart even I expect some comments , some discussions on it.