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What will people say? LOG KYA KAHENGE?

April 12, 2010

A lady wants to change her style of dressing. She wants to start wearing jeans instead of saris but she is worried ——?

A wife who is regularly abused by her husband wants to severe the matrimonial ties because she is unable to bear the continuous humiliation, BUT is scared of doing so —————-?

Daughter wants to go in for an inter caste marriage with a boy of her own choice; the parents know that her selection of boy is good but they are hesitant——–?

The parents know that their daughter is being ill treated by her in laws and her life has become hell. They want to bring her back from that atmosphere but ——————–?

Daughter or son is still unmarried. Parents are worried ——————-?

Marriage for middle aged people is mostly unheard of in our society (it is nothing new in other countries) . What is wrong if a middle aged widow couple decides to get married at a late age but their children are worried  —————-?

There are innumerable situations where we are stopped from doing what our heart desires and which will ultimately give us happiness and satisfaction just, because we are worried about WHAT WILL PEOPLE /SOCIETYSAY?

Who are these people/society?

Isn’t the society made of us? Aren’t we the people?

Then why do we worry so much about the people?

It is such an ironical situation. Human beings have the tendency to comment on other’s behavior but when it comes to them they do not like when others comment?

Actually it is very easy for any third person to say – forget about society, do not bother about others. Do what you think is right.

But I am sure when the same situation will come in the life of this third person he will also start worrying about society and people.

I fail to understand why should anyone comment on another person’s life, style or behavior? What right others have to interfere in others life?  And what sadistic pleasure will they derive from commenting on others misfortune or problems.

The so called society/people will not come to the rescue of the sufferer; they will not offer any practical help to others. The only thing these people can offer is lip service which will be of no use to the other person.

In fact it is the habit of most of the people to poke their nose in other’s affairs and lives. Although they have nothing to do with them but may be for time pass or for sheer pleasure of gossip or to humiliate the other person they will talk about the life of others

Why does public opinion, approval take precedence over personal happiness?

23 Comments leave one →
  1. April 12, 2010 3:06 pm

    You are right!!! most of the time we think what others think and forget that others dont have much time in the world for us… we gotta do the right thing which is apt for that situation… we need to grow up by throwing away the society word inculcated into our mind when we were young!!!

  2. April 12, 2010 4:18 pm

    Yes, but if we continue to behave stupid, we are bound to react like this only.
    I have been a rebel all along and have never bothered as to what they will say.
    My attitude is —Damn them.
    Each one of us have only one life to live.Dont worry what they will say.

  3. April 12, 2010 4:26 pm

    Hi Anju,

    Thoughts like these are very much the need of the hour. Have you ever observed the same people never criticizes a celebrity even if they cheat, marry thrice, rape, or even kill someone sleeping on the road. The same people who criticize ordinary people hail them and become so called ‘fans’

    How I got over this syndrome is by reading a great story when i was a child.

    One father and son were coming back from market after buying a donkey.
    First they let the donkey walk beside them. One onlooker pointed out that they are crazy to not use the donkey to carry one of them. Then the loving father put his son on top of the donkey and after walking some miles another person who came across said what a spoiled kid, children should not be pampered like this, let the kid walk and learn the hardships of life. So the humiliated father thought it’s better if he rides the donkey.

    After going some distance someone else pointed out to the father that he is stupid to not let the kid travel with him on the donkey. He pointed out that the donkey can carry them both. The father was ashamed why it never occurred to him. So he decided to carry the boy with him.

    Half way home the donkey fell down and the father and son ended up carrying the donkey the rest of the way to home.

    To those who listen to public opinion you will always have to carry your donkey sooner or later.

    Now that i have written so much i am also going to post this story as a reply post to you. Thank you for coming up with your observation.

  4. April 12, 2010 5:57 pm

    Dear Anju,
    Good Evening!
    Very natural!these are happening!We live in a society.everyone wants to have a clean image!crystal clear!
    Nanda[my sister] helped me to outgrow this situation.Public will say may be for four days!Then they get too busy with other things!There is no shortage of topics and happenings!
    This is INDIA!we have to get busy with others’ business!
    One of my old post’s title is Log Kya Kahenge?
    Wishing you a wonderful week ahead,

  5. April 12, 2010 6:27 pm

    Nice article! Most of the people can’t help poking their nose into others’ lives.

    But, I believe in… Those who matter don’t talk and those who talk don’t matter 😀

    • April 12, 2010 7:48 pm

      you are right. who talk don’t matter
      but as we are social animals, we live in the society to it does affects the mental state of the person

  6. April 12, 2010 8:50 pm

    Yes if every one minds their own business, the world would have been a better place.
    I guess most of us fear public bcoz we want to BELONG and are afraid that if we rebel then we will be an out cast/lonely. Not every 1 has the guts to stand out, most of us feel safe in a ‘herd’.

  7. rohini permalink
    April 12, 2010 9:13 pm

    helo , hru?

    the article so much true..even i want to wear jeans…but it hapns when i go to my parents home in delhi…nt at inlaws hm….smtimes the society changes according to the topography….
    manytimes we have to act which will be acceptable to the people around rather than ourselves…..its truth….many restrictions…

    hey do u still have prob in commenting in my blog….as i guess nt now

  8. Nishant Singh permalink
    April 13, 2010 11:12 am

    Human Beings love the approval of others so why should it differ when they start worrying abt what people might think about them if they take a particular decision which maybe frowned upon by others?

    We are social animals, as you rightly pointed out and it is in our very nature to seek approval from others for our deeds whether good or bad.

  9. surjit permalink
    April 13, 2010 2:45 pm

    Yes, you are right.Worrying is a human trait.Can’t help it.Mind has to be trained to undersatnd the real situations….every thing is pre-destined.
    You have a wonderful blog.
    My best wishes.

  10. April 13, 2010 4:04 pm

    You are right but i guess now people have started taking their own decision and not worrying about the society.Atleast some change can be seen..

    Hope it will be for the betterment of the society:)

  11. April 13, 2010 5:07 pm

    Nice post!!! i know a person who was always worrying what people thinks about him for each and everything he used to fear to try new fashion, always hesitated before talking with othere back then he had a very low self confidence……

    now after few years back when i saw him for first time he was completely changed his looks were changed, the way of talking was changed he was kinda new person when i asked the secret his answer was simple “I stopped worrying about other people”.

  12. April 13, 2010 7:43 pm

    I think those who tell you what will people think about this and that are the 1st one to think in such way. Personally, I do what I feel comfortable with, considering what my parents feel of course, but outside 4 wall of my home, I don’t care what anyone thinks because I have people who love me by my side, who else do I need to worry about?!

  13. April 14, 2010 11:56 am

    Kuch To Log Kahenge
    Logon Ka Kaam Hai Kehna
    Chhodo Bekaar Ki Baaton Mein
    Kahin Beet Na Jaaye Raina
    Kuch To Log Kahenge
    Logon Ka Kaam Hai Kehna….

  14. April 20, 2010 9:56 am

    Fantastic article and so very true, I have seen this happening right in my own house and failed to understand every time, its ridiculous to give your own happiness for the world who hardly bothers about you.

  15. August 14, 2010 9:44 pm

    The post says it all…

  16. August 23, 2010 2:19 am

    You know, you’ve hit the nail on the head. There is no such thing as “society.” We made it up. Like the bogey man!

    Society is a collection of people. And unlike other collections of things, which have meaning when aggregated, an aggregation of people – is just an aggregation of people. Nothing more.

    So when someone says “Society will be harmed by say homosexuality”, the question to ask is who is being harmed exactly? Give examples. And how are they being damaged. The fact that this myth of society has been perpetrated for so long only shows how powerful this nonsense is.

    When Khushboo was taken to court for her comments on pre marital sex, under the excuse of “It’s corrupting the people”, the Supreme court asked just one question – please bring forward some people who have been corrupted! Silence at the other end of course 😀

  17. ASANG GUPTA permalink
    May 4, 2011 1:25 pm

    Log kya kahenge,
    Na mila tera pata to mujhe log kya kahenge.
    Yun hi dar badar raha to mujhe log kya kahenge, ye jahaan na jane kya kya mujhe kah raha hai lekin kabhi tumne kuch kaha to mujhe log kya kahenge.– ASANG

  18. June 7, 2011 6:58 pm

    Posted a link to this blog post on our new facebook cause ” Stop Living with the “Log Kya Kahenge!” Syndrome”

  19. Ruba permalink
    August 28, 2011 12:25 am

    well m giving thesis on it… can you please help me …in which situations peoples used to say these words?….”Log kia kahengeyy”
    everything which is in ur mind … matter rght or wrong i want views …..on personally experincess.. please

  20. January 5, 2012 1:02 pm

    Thanks for good post, I never see great blog like this, I will revisit later.

  21. Rajeev M permalink
    July 23, 2014 7:09 am

    मैं कभी इस जुमले से नहीं डरा “लोग क्या कहेंगे”
    Zindagi Mein Aap Jo Bhi Karna Chahte Hain Wo Jarur Kijiye, Ye Mat Sochiye Ki Log Kya Kahenge.
    Are you also one of those kinds who take decisions based on what people say? Or at least are swayed into changing decisions because your own people might not approve it? Don’t even pretend to answer because I am anyways not gonna believe you. Because no matter how much we think or bully ourselves into believing that we care two hoots about what the society thinks and we do as we like, the truth is that somewhere deep inside our hearts, we are always looking for an acceptance, in any form, from our kin.

    Our whole lives, we are brought up with fear inducing threats like, “What will padosi uncle/aunty/dada/dadi/mama/chachi/teache… say?” And as much as we ridicule these lines and try to snap ourselves out of its tangles, it sticks on to us, much like the flu or the virus. Unknowingly, we have caught it from the air, breathed it and it now forms a tiny little part of us. Over the years, this virus grows and we begin to realize the wisdom of our elders, and keep spreading the virus to all our progenies.

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