Being a housewife and called so – something to be ashamed of???
April 9, 2010
Today some one asked me, “Do you work”? “where do you work”? and I very casually replied,” No I don’t work I am a housewife” (as if housewives don’t work at home J:-) ).
The sympathetic tone and the look, “Oh! I thought you are a working woman” made me feel as if I have committed some crime by not going to office and working there.
An advertisement of a tea brand on TV shows two friends meeting after a long gap.
One very proudly says, “I am working in a bank”, the other one with a sad face and subdued voice, “I am a housewife”. The first one with obvious sympathizing looks and expression replies, “OHH!!!!”
In another incidence a father introduces his three daughters to some one , “meet my elder daughter – she is a teacher, meet my other daughter—she is a lecturer and looking at the third one, “she is my younger daughter, her husband is a Doctor”, then noticing the sudden shadow of sadness on the younger daughter he tried to make amend by saying,” my younger daughter is very educated and creative etc” but the damage was already made. The younger one carried the scars of that humiliation of not being a working woman and gainfully employed all through her life.
Why is being and called as housewife considered like an insult to many women?
I have heard many working women envying the housewives and their so called easy and comfortable life. They say that they would give any thing to trade places with the housewives.
Although, the housewives in turn want to be in the shoes of the working women.
Many men also carry this notion that housewives are good for nothing. They just sit at home, supervise the maid servants, go for kitty parties and have an easy life. Some one once commented, “These Malls and shopping complexes thrive on housewives only. These ladies have nothing to do so they just pick up their purses and go for shopping”
Our society looks at the working women with respect and awe. They are considered to be super human beings as they manage their homes, work, office, family, and children.
Although I am a strong advocate of women being financially independent but what is wrong in just being a housewife?
There could be so many reasons for a woman to remain a housewife and not work in office or manage a business.
I have seen many women happily leaving their jobs so that they could look after their families, their children and mange their homes.
But many of them do make it a point to stress that they are professionally qualified but for some reasons have chosen to become a housewife.
Why do the woman consider it to be shameful to be called as just housewives?
May be that is the reason many housewives when asked about their profession prefer to call themselves as HOME MAKERS, DOMESTIC ENGINEERS or SOCIAL WORKERS .
As if using a fancy name to their status give them a new respect from the society?
I am not saying that working women are ahead of women who do not work in offices and are at home managing their home.
I just feel that there is nothing demeaning in being a just a housewife.
All those women, who feel that they are mere housewives can utilize the time in their hands with so much constructive work. They can pursue their hobbies, get involved in social reconstruction work ( I am not using the term social work as it is most misunderstood and used terms – giving left over food, giving old clothes to contributing to the marriages of poor girls, taking free coaching classes – every thing comes under the umbrella of the terms social work).
A woman can make her own identity, come out of the shadow of some Mrs. so and so by still remaining a so called just HOUSEWIFE.
It is a matter of perception,outlook, attitude and being happy with whatever is there.