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daughters not safe with fathers?

April 7, 2010

Father arrested for raping daughter shouts todays TOI

(http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2010/04/07&PageLabel=3&EntityId=Ar00308&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T )

This is not an isolated case

In the last 15 days  three similar news have appeared in leading dailies.

Last week it was the case of a minor girl who was subjected to this humiliation by her cousin and his friends.

Few months back it was the father raping his daughter for 5-6 months in a row so that his financial condition could improve (some astrologer had given him the idea)

Innumerable cases of fathers, brothers sexually molesting their own kith and kin.

In one case the father used to pamper, over indulge, shower all his love and affection, be extra loving to his daughter in front of public and used to expect her to be an ideal daughter . He even forbade her to talk to boys, go out with friends least she became an extrovert. ( I am sure he would have been scared of the fact that the girl may spill out the beans about his acts).

I have expressed my feelings on the same subject before also. but I cannot just control myself after reading about such cases.

I know my writing is neither going to save such victims nor it is going to effect the so called fathers and brothers who are a blot on such divine relations

but again and again I am forced to think

Do the men have no control over their libido?

Does the urge to satisfy their sexual needs are so powerful that it overpowers their moral values, their senses?

How can these men force themselves on their own blood relations?

How can men take advantage of innocent, minor still in budding stage girls?

And how come the wives, the mother do not come to know about this?

In one case the father was indulging in such perverted acts with the permission of his wife ( how shameful!)

How could the mother allow her own husband to sexually molest his own daughter?

Does it mean it is not safe to leave one’s daughters with their fathers and brothers?

What happened to paternal and brotherly instincts and love?

Do they ever think how many scars such acts will be left on the victims of such harassment?

How will the future life of the victims shape up?

Don’t these people ever feel guilty of their shameful acts?

my helplessness is beyond words

I feel sorry for such girls who are being forced to silently bear the burnt of the sadistic urges of their fathers/brothers.

Why can’t the neighbors, relatives  publicly humiliates such persons  by blackening their faces or by taking such drastic measures so as to teach a lesson to the sadistic minded men.

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. Suffix permalink
    April 7, 2010 1:49 pm

    It is a pain and shameful act. He is worst than an animal. Are we loosing our cultural identity? Whats going on? What might have provoked him to become a monster?

  2. April 7, 2010 2:13 pm

    shame 😦

  3. April 7, 2010 2:43 pm

    Its really shameful. But look at it this way… For many ages men have harrassed their wives and daughters. Only thing that all this happened inside the 4 walls of the house so not really many people knew about it. Now that the media is very active( we have more news channels than what the whole of Europe has combined) all these isssues have come up. I know a lot of work needs to be done but many NGOs who work for women welfare are working day and night to solve problems( About 10,000 working in Orrisa alone). But there are a many factors which hinder their progress, for example, Let us look at ourselves, have we done our homework and are we even donating a little to such NGOs? India has scores of billionaires, do they bother to do charity? I know Men are totally at fault here but i have read about(and even seen some cases) where women beat up the girl child to the extent that she is to be hospitalized. This is as bad as sexual harassment….
    Currently the only solution I see to this problem is this:
    1)Proper allocation and implementation of funds.
    2)Education in rural areas.
    3)Involving rural areas in decision making.
    4)Generating Employment

    • April 7, 2010 9:08 pm

      the solutions which you have quoted — I don’s see how will they help
      this sort of perversion is seen mostly in urban areas ( rural areas do not get so much publicity)
      i agree to the fact that woman are women’s worst enemy
      but how can a father stoop down so much as to use his own daughter to satisfy his lust?

  4. April 7, 2010 3:10 pm

    such shameful men should be given horrible punishment on earth

  5. April 7, 2010 6:17 pm

    There can not be any justification.
    All that is needed is to educate our girls–they are the best in the world.
    Unless they get education, such acts will continue.
    And also–VINASH KALEIN VIPRIT BUDHHI.

    • April 7, 2010 9:10 pm

      Chowla ji even educated girls are subjected to such humilation
      the fear of society, relatives, the guilt, the respect for the father stops the girls to come forward and complain against their own fathers.

  6. April 7, 2010 7:38 pm

    We are living in the world of monkeys

  7. April 7, 2010 7:44 pm

    Its not just limited to fathers and brothers.

    What about priest? Do we even feel secure sending our daughters to a place of worship fpr praying?

    http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/04/06/india.minnesota.priest.abuse/index.html?hpt=C1

    • April 7, 2010 9:14 pm

      i fully agree with you Milan.
      teachers, priest every one . all those men who are over powered by their lust, sexual urges resort to such inhuman acts

    • ghuidsfuidgh permalink
      February 16, 2011 7:00 am

      yeah read my post the religion i was forced up in as a child the elder was incouraging that sick fucker to sexually molest me sexually assault me and sexually abuse me at age 8 years old.

  8. April 7, 2010 10:25 pm

    I feel that such people should be actually shot….
    Most of them must have some kind of mental disease to actually act like this…

    We always thought such things only happened in western society….alas humans are the same everywhere…unbelievable..

  9. April 8, 2010 12:11 am

    its disgusting but sadly its very common 😦 i blame the mothers the most here who are afraid to lose husband and put up with this nonsense

    BTW it happens the other way round too, boys are sexually abused by mothers just that it gets even less attention

  10. April 8, 2010 2:17 pm

    It is disgusting, yet I think it’s much more prevalent than we think. I really don’t know who is actually to blame. Is it upbringing? Is it society?
    Parents need to teach their children that such things are WRONG & are just not acceptable.

  11. April 8, 2010 2:23 pm

    I seriously believe that without second thought the person doing this gruesome act should be hanged till death.

    These people make women feel insecure right under their home.Women feel insecure while traveling,working, parties etc but if this insecurity persist at home then where will women go?

  12. ROHINI permalink
    April 8, 2010 4:30 pm

    nice awakening post,…its a shameful deed done on the part of humans…coincidentaly my log has asked one qtn..is it man’s world…?? and here i see one ans to it…if such things are prevalent then it is the real bad world….

  13. April 8, 2010 6:12 pm

    Unfortunately, society does not let a peep out at crimes like this. There seems to be a ‘conspiracy of silence’…

    Contrast this with the hue and cry raised ‘coz of girls wearing jeans…. !!!

    There was this girl in univ… where I was studying. She came from a small town, kinda village.

    Apparantly there were about half a dozen cases in her village where the father had ‘married’ his own daughter… and have kids too. When each of these cases came to light… a ‘panchayat’ was called. The person(s) in question would appear before it and ask the question: “If I have a farm/garden where I have planted fruit trees. Once the fruit(s) are ripe… should I have the ‘right’ over those fruit(s)… or my neighbours and/or strangers?”

    Imagine… ??? Needless to say… the ‘panchayat’ would rule in favour of these persons. Matter finished.

    An event described in the great epic the “Mahabharata”…”Draupadi’s vastraharan”… is an event… perhaps. It is also an example or even a metaphor. On the “decadence” of society, on the (lack of) norms of culture and the decline of “dharma”. “Dharma” is not “religion” as we understand today. It is “rightousness”… rather the “path of rightousness”.

    If people deviate from “dharma”… what eventually happens… what their failing to uphold or do their “dharma” leads to… is shown very well through this one event/metaphor.

    As Lord Krishna too mentions… in the “Bhagavad Gita” – A society which stood by silently and simply watched, did not react nor protested… on such a shameful event… the “vastrahaaran” of Draupadi… on the “apamaan” (dishonouring) of the Queen of Hastinapur, the daughter of King Drupad, the wife of the Pandavas… an extraordinary woman, one of the 5 “kanyas”, a major and important personality in her own right. What will such a society do when ordinary people… the weak and the defenceless, including ordinary women are subjected to ill treatment, injustice and torture…???

    It will shatter a society and give rise to all kinds of ills.

    Therefore, Lord Krishna advised Arjun and all of us… to do our “duty”… to uphold “dharma”… without thinking or worrying about the “result”, “consequences” or the “aftermath”…. failing which we are doomed forever. He implores and advises us to fight the forces which are evil and are anti-social. We should not blame “external” factors for the failure or the decadence of society… it happens due to our actions… only.

    Unfortunately… his words are being echoed in our society… for a millennium now…

  14. April 8, 2010 10:07 pm

    I don’t believe in moral values. I believe that man’s thinking is above the moral and social values. Even then, I can’t tolerate these kinds of acts by the insane fathers and cousins. I would not have felt bad if a daughter who older enough to take decisions loves her father and agrees to have sex with her father. I believe that it is their personal choice. But this act of rape and molestation is not at all tolerable. These guys should be killed. I feel that is the minimum punishment one can give. Just because they gave birth to her, do they think that they can be used as a toy??

  15. daffodils2 permalink
    April 9, 2010 6:12 am

    The issue of incest has been prevalent all over the world. But since it involves family members,it goes unreported largely. A few years back a journalist published a book BITTER CHOCOLATE. And i also remember reading an article where a man from Europe had sexually assaulted his daughter and kept her chained.

    The media needs to come forward to expose such men and the NGOS need to counsel the victims and bring them back to normalcy after their horrible encounter.

  16. April 9, 2010 10:42 am

    Dear Ms Gandhi,

    Read your post. Trying to understand your out-rage too. Frankly what forced me to read it was that it was the number 1 post on indi vine and Since today i had a relatively free time in office I wanted to explore this about what kind of writing involves people so much. My worry/bigest fear greates amusemnt is Sex in any form of writing(whether you are pleading for the victim or writing about your fantasies makes for good reading!)
    Coming back to this outrage that you have aginst this issue. I guess since you are a mother it makes you extra sensitive towards such issues and therefore so much energy and outrage.
    Just thinking aloud on this because I would know very little about how diffrent people react to such violations. But the men who do this must have had complicated histories no? I often shudder to think that in violations such as these is the damage only one sided? I mean is it only the victim who had been hurt>? Surely some one who rapes his own daugthermust be having other problems goin on his life.(What kind of relationships can that person form with others do you think?
    Would that person sleep peacefully at night? Maybe they do! If they do than I dont know whether this outrage can last very long. For a lot of bad things happen in this world! Whats out buisness cursing them if we dont have any personal context to add to it.
    But I belive since we are a part of this world and the world is a part of us..we are both victims and the perpetrators of it in equal parts. It is in this participation that we can heal such things that arouse our anger so much!
    There is so much healing that can be done. But only when we take responsibility for ourselves and a bigger view than that of a victim. I hope you write someday about the men who do these acts and help me understand what about them irks you so much. That would be some real breakthrough on this outrage you feel.

    Regards
    Pearl

  17. April 9, 2010 10:54 am

    A serious topic well discussed.. but what will the girls do in such situation where protectors turn into predators? They may not even have enough guts to talk it out because most of the time they feel they are dependent on the fathers or scared of them etc.. Someone needs to find a solution to this shameful happenings. Will more harsh punishment scare the men?

  18. April 9, 2010 8:06 pm

    sigh.. what can I say? Its acts like this that really destroy faith in humanity.. how anyone can think that way of a child they once carried in their arms as their own newborn is beyond me and sadly.. this is not a new thing, is it ? If you see, almost every month is filled with the same kind of story and yet nothing changes.. I never get why the govt cant make these laws more severe to suit this kind of heinous acts..
    Excellently written and lovely blog too

  19. ghuidsfuidgh permalink
    February 16, 2011 6:33 am

    hi every one! i’m a vitcim of sexual abuse, sexual assaults, sexual grooming sexual molesting by a blood relative who was suppost to be my parent!!

    i was also severly abused by this man and physically abused!! other abuse especially physical abuse and controle over a innascent little girl as thir growing up and a minor come with the sexual molesting and sexually assaulting and sexual abuse!!

    This man is in his 40’s and was in in his late 30’s when he started to sexually molest me, sexually abuse me, sexually herrass me, sexually assault me!!

    i was only three years old when he first started sexually molesting me, sexually absuing me sexually assaulting me sexually herrassing me tell i was 8 years old then he threaten to rape me infront of his mother with was suppost to be my old lady but ofcourse any one who does this to a cute innascent girl does not deserve any rights of the child or to be called a relative, such as grandma or father!!

    yes the man in his 40’s was suppost to be my parent biologically father had full custody over me and my brother. it was a long enduring nightmare being forced to grow up around this sick child abusing pedophile!! he was in his under wear, and forced my brother to be in his under wear and watch!!! the nasty adult guy made me be completly naked and threaten me he was going to force me to take my clothes off if i didn’t do it. i was scarred to death of this psycho pedophile!! he forced me to be completly naked infront of my brother and him and rubed every where on my pussy, clitteris and fingered me with his bear hands. and i told him to stop!! BUT HE DIDN”T!!

    THIS FUCKING PIG SEXUALLY MOLESTED ME, SEXUALLY ABUSED ME SEXUALLY assaulted me at 3 years old tell i was 8 years old then after that durring the time as a teenager and i was becoming a woman he was always walking in on me deliveratly in the bathroom to try and see me naked or watch me sitt on the toilet trying to go to the bathroom. there was no locks on the door and a couple time he broke the door in and broke in the bathroom while i was taking a shower and he knew i wasin there taking a shower. any time i was trying to have my privacy as a teenage girl as old as 15 years old he was always opening the door on me and coming in the bathroom when i was trying to have privacy and take a shower there was a shower curtain but i was still scarred the death of him raping me and opening the shower curtain on me!!! and while i was trying to change, sitt on toilet to go to the bathroom he always came in on me!!

    he never did it to my brother he was only interested in little girls and teen girls. i finally got taken out of the home by a male police officer at 15 years old and the court peoples cinvinced him to give up his physical custody of me!! THIS PSYCHO PEDOPHILE THREATEN TO KILL ME AND MY BROTHER SINCE WE WERE ONLY THREE YEARS OLD TELL I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, which then i got taken out of the home. he forced me to be naked in the front room in the house and beat me with his pants belt which had a metal piece on it and he beat with a belt while i was naked!!!!!! the psycho pedophile forced me to walk around in a church for hours with a dress that was to small for me with no under wear on or any tights!!! my pussy and ass was hanging out of my dress for hours out in public in front of every one the small dress that was to short was all the way up to where my pussy was and but cheeks!!

    the stupid church people didn’t say anything and ignored it. they did not report this nasty fucker to the police or human services nobody saved me or did anything!!

    one of the alders at the kindom hall of Jehovah wittnesses told the psycho pedophile it was ok to toutch my private areas and see me naked!! that fucking pig told him to sexually molest me and sexually abuse me and sexually assault me!! OMFG keep in mind before he was asking the elder if it was ok he was already doing it to me since i was three years old which i have already metnioned!! this psycho pedophile that threaten to kill me , sexually molested me while i was forced to be naked and my brother forced to be in his under wear and always physically beat me for no reason his name is Gerry LeRoy Heller and he is now about 50 years old. i’m 19 years old and will turn 20 years old his biological blood name is Benson his last named was changed because his step dead adopted him and his brothers.

    This psycho pedophile live in Pine City Pine County!! i live in the same town for right now and i’m currently trying to move the hell out of this town. theres more i have to say and report about what this psycho pedophile did to me as a innascent child and minor!! i also tried getting a restraining order on him when i was 18 because he started to act crazy again and threaten me and tried to walk in on me in the bathroom while i was taking a shower but i had a shower curtain ofcrourse and i was lucky he didn’t open it on me and toutch me.

    i was never alot to have friends girl or boy of any age or go any where since i was 3 years old tell 15 years old then i got taken out of the home for good by a police officer thank god!! he was very controling over me and he did not want me to tell on him that he was sexually molesting me and physically abusing me!! so i could not go anywhere have friends do anything wut any normal kid especially teenager would do. i was not allowed to go to public school or any type of school because he didn’t want me to tell any one i was being molested and abused!!! by him. i was put as home schooled but there was no schooling being done i was not doing any schooling and he locked me and my brother in the basement for days because he was paranoid that me and my brother were going to go up stares and talk about him to his mother!!

    THIS PEDOPHILE HAS UNDIAGNOSED PARANOI SCHIZOPHRENIA a TREE Disorder and is psychotic!! he extremely possessive!!!! and was very malipulative when every he sexually molested me and sexually abused me and beat me with the belt for no reason.

    he is a wife beater as well he hates woman and he is fat ugly and has a mustash!!
    he physically assaulted and abused my biological mother which to this day i still loveher even though she abandon me and could not take of me and my brother but that was not her fualt and i don’t blaim her. she tried to keep full custody of me and my brother especially me because i was a girl. the stupid fucking pedophile guy had money to pay for a good attorny and thats how he won custody over me and my brother. GOD I WISH MY MOM WOULD OF WON CUSTODY OF ME!! I WOULD OF NEVER HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT LONG ENDURRING OF SEXUALLY MOLESTING AND SEXUAL ABUSE AND SEXUAL ASSAULTS AS A CHILD!! my biological mother never sexually toutched me or forced me to be naked for any reason my bio mother never toutched my privates!! SHE WAS A GOOD MOM!! but had bad staste in men and yeah because she gave birth with me and my brother by having sex withthat discusting pedophile pig and child abuser and wife beater!!!
    my step mom Rebecca Heller now Rebecca King, King is her madian name. she also sexually abused me and my brother once for punishment over something i did not do but my brother did but it was a crazy and sexually abusive punishment for something my brother did that was not suppost to be doing. left pop corn seeds on the bed from eating pop corn and so she made me and my brother lay on the bunk beds in the living room naked with just are under wear on and i was forced to have a bear chest so my nipples were showing!! it was infront of a big open window. i was more naked then my brother nad i had to have my private areas exposed because of my bare chest!! my step mom forced me and my brother to lay on a big pile of pop corn seeds naked with just are under wear on i had a bear chest and infront of every one in the living room infront of my teenage step brother and teenage step sister!!! for 2 hours and she threaten me and my brother if we ever got any pop corn seeds on the bed again she was going to force me and my brother to be complety naked with no under wear on in the living room on the punk beds infront of the open window and infront of my step brother and step sister who were teenagers i was only 7 years old and my brother was 8 years old.

    please if any one has any question or would like to talk to me about this u can email me if u want at getmepregnantnow@yahoo.com it is my YIM to

  20. ghuidsfuidgh permalink
    February 16, 2011 6:37 am

    i forgot to mention it is under police investigation right now i am trying to put that nasty pig in prison for sexually molesting me sexually assaulted me and sexually abusing me as a little girl and minor!!!

    i hope this fucker gets his ass raped in prison!!!

  21. ghuidsfuidgh permalink
    February 16, 2011 6:55 am

    i also forgot to mention that this happen in Minnesota pine city pine county US United States of America which is where i live now and yes i believe strongly that fathers or any males can not baby sit, bath or change a little girl at all!!! i would never let any man ever be alone with my daughter i would call the police on him if any man ever tried to ignore my rules and safety with my child especially with a girl!!

    yes it is true most woman in the world get sexually molested sexually assaulted sexually abused and some times rape their daughters, and some times the fathers kill them, beat them half to death.

    the psycho pedophile guy that was suppsot to be my parent and had full custody of me always pinched my butt so hard and laughed about it!! since i was three tell i was 12 years old he was fucking forcefully toutching my butt and when i was 10 or 11 i was wearing a skirt and he forced me to climb into window and brake into a barn house out in the country in brook park, MN he forced me and threaten me to climb in the window and bend over with my butt hanging out i had under wear on i was wearing pic under wear and once i was half way in the window he pinch my butt and i told him prior before climbing into the window not to look at or toutch my butt ofcource i knew he was going to.

    my whole life since 3 to 12 months after my18th brithday i was always scarred he was going to rape me, beat me half to death and or kill me!!

    i am very happy to say i’ve have never been raped yet in my whole life but i was at a high risk of being raped inhome by that psycho pedophile!!

  22. ghuidsfuidgh permalink
    February 16, 2011 6:57 am

    i just rescently reported this police case to the police a few months ago and i was 19 years old and i’m still 19 years old right now. i wish i would of call the police on him at age 18 when i had the chance to but for some reason i got to scarred to i was being very vunerable!!

  23. ghuidsfuidgh permalink
    February 16, 2011 7:09 am

    omg and the only time this psycho child abusing pedophile only sexually abused me sexually molested me and sexually assaulted me and beat me with his belt when he was seperated from my step mom his wife while she was gone. so when ever he didn’t have a woman around to abuse sexually toutch and herrass he came after me i was his sex toy and victim!!

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