Will following some rituals guarantee a happy married life?
Three cheers for Paromita Pal. I endorse what she did. Why should a woman go through such rituals?
In one community of South Indians the bride is supposed to touch the feet of her husband at the time of marriage. Geeta a MBA got married to her colleague another MBA (both from South India) at the time of marriage she was asked to touch the feet of her husband, which she refused to do. Her reasons, “why should I touch his feet? Educationally we are at par. Income wise we are at Par even age wise we are of the same age just because he is my husband he doesn’t become superior.” This obviously created a furor in both the families more so in the boy’s family. But the groom stood up to his wife and went ahead with the marriage without this particular ritual.
In Indian mythology husband is treated as Pati Parmeshwar (GOD) but what qualifies him to become a GOD or to be treated as GOD?
When we talk of GOD we mean someone whom we can look upon, who is there to take care of us, to whom we can turn to in times of crisis, who is just above all the human weaknesses and faults. GOD to me is perfection. (I don’t want to offend any one’s religious sentiments but certain acts of certain GODS don’t convince me or justifies their Godliness. this is beside the point)
So much importance is given to celebrations and fasting on Karwa Chouth, Vat Purnima, Teej etc for the long life of husband and children. But does it really help?
Karwa Chouth is kept for the long life of husband then why did one of my acquaintances lost her husband on the very next day of Karwa Chouth?
And why should the wife only pray for the husband? Shouldn’t the husband be also praying for his wife or for that matter should the children not pray for their parent’s long life and welfare?
Do the husband and children respect their wives or mother more for this? Do they feel grateful to the lady for sacrificing on their behalf?
In many cases the couple is at logger heads with each other, they are always arguing, insulting, calling each other names in other words their matrimonial life is just a farce even in such cases the wives keep the fast for the husband. Isn’t it like making mockery of our culture?
I don’t want to hurt the sentiments of any one by talking against Karwa Chouth or other festivals which are observed for the long life of children or husband. But I just wonder whether observing fast on these days really helps?
The modern day husbands of course accompany their wives by keeping the fast along with her thus proving that they also care for her.
The other day my maid servant while conversing informed me that her husband expects her to press his feet daily because he has had a tiring day. ( as if she just lazes around. Even she works the whole day. But no, it is the prerogative of the husband to expect this from the wife)
What infuriated me was the mother in law’s attitude – Husband is like GOD, doing his seva is like doing Prabhu Puja .
Will the husband ever press his wives’ feet or head when she is not well?
No, Most of the husbands will consider it below their dignity to do such jobs.
Nothing wrong in celebrating the rituals, or following them – they are our rich heritage and our culture which we have to pass on to our children but why do something just for the sake of doing?
Moreoever why can’t we stop treating husband’s like Parmeshwar and treat him like any other fellow human being?
Ritual is rarely practical. This is why it conflicts with the New Woman. It’s not ritual that ensures a marriage lasts a lifetime, it is mutual respect and love, which needs to be in a safe harbour to keep the great ship of wedding afloat.