WAKE UP GIRLS—- AT LEAST ON THIS WOMEN’ DAY
Few days back I attended a function hosted by one of our family friends to celebrate the birth of a baby boy in their family. The overjoyed grandparents very proudly showed their new diamond ring and earrings and informed that the diamonds were a gift by their son’s inlaws. When asked the reason for the gifts by their daughter in laws parents, I was in for a shock with their casual answer, “their daughter has given birth to a son so the parents have to give gifts to our full family”.
I just wondered was the girl only responsible for the birth of a baby child? Didn’t their son contribute to it? And moreover why should the girl’s parents shower such lavish gifts on the inlaws and their relatives? If it is to show their happiness then aren’t the baby’s grandparents (parents of the boy) happy? Should they also not gift to the girl’s family? After all it is the girl who has given birth to a male child and the child will remain in their family and not with the family of the girl. so the boy’s family should be the one to gift it gifts are to be given.
But such are the systems of our society.
For any function in the family of the daughter’s inlaws the girl’s parents have to shower lavish gifts to the inlaws and their relatives.
At the time of baby shower (god bharai) the girl’s parents are supposed to give gifts/jewellery/ clothes to ever one.
Once the first child is born irrespective of whether a son or daughter again the girl’s parents are required to shower the inlaws with gifts. The only concession is that the quantity and monetary value of the gifts can be less if the first born is a girl.
Then there are various occasions like Mundan( first time hair cutting of the child), naming ceremony, ear piercing ( in the case of girls) etc. On each occasion the girl’s parents have to give gifts in the form of clothes, cash, jewellery to the couple, the parents, siblings and other relatives of the boy.
Not to forget the celebration of Karva Chouth or other festivals when again the girl’s parents have to send clothes, sweets to the boy’s side irrespective of whether the girl’s parents can afford it or not. But to save their Izzat and to save their daughter from the taunts of the inlaws the parents go out of the way to pamper the inlaws.
I am surprised at the indifferent attitude of the educated girls who let their parents follow all these rituals.
Imagine the plight of a father who is blessed with 2-3 daughters. He will have to follow the same rituals for all the daughters, and if the father is not there then the burden comes on the brother to meet the demands of the inlaws.
Not only at the time of birth of the child but even at the time of marriage of those children the maternal uncle is expected to give clothes, jewellery and gifts to the inlaws as well as relatives of his sister’s family.
If, so much pressure is there on the parents of the girls then, no wonder the birth of a baby girl is not celebrated in many families and parents dread the birth of a baby girl. Not because they don’t want daughters but because of the various obligations which they will have to fullfill once the girl gets married.
I remember my grandmother saying, “ girls are called Laxmi , they bring Laxmi to their parents house but once this Laxmi goes to another person’s house they take the existing Laxmi of their parent’s house along with them”
These days the educated parents don’t differentiate between the upbringing of their children be it a girl or a boy. They strive to give both of them equal education and comforts. They pamper both girls and boys with the same passion. Both of them are close to their heart.
Then why do the parents start differentiating between their daughters and sons after marriage? Why do they spend so much on giving gifts and following the rituals when it comes to their daughters and in turn expect the same from the inlaws of their sons?
It is time for the sons and daughter especially the daughters to get up and put their foot down. They should be the one to stop their parents to pander to the egos of the inlaws by giving them lavish gifts on various occasions. The young generation should come forward and vehemently oppose the practice of such rituals.
We, the women have come a long way from being the dormant door mats. We have our own identity. Then why not do something to do away with such rituals and save our parents from lifelong tensions of meeting the demands in the name of customs and rituals.
Wake up girls; don’t let the parents feel that the birth of a girl is a lifelong burden on them
We all will be celebrating Women’s day tomorrow. We will be partying, sending text messages, emails, greetings to all the members of our sex. Why not make an appeal along with the greetings to fight against these rituals.