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THE BLAME GAME that we often play

January 23, 2010

Ever heard of a game called BLAME GAME?

All of us are fond of playing this game

Pass on the blame on someone else and feel contented and relieved

Accuse someone else and pass on the onus of unhappiness to some person and feel happy

But does it solve the problem?

The husband has had a bad day in the office, the boss shouted at him, he could not finish his work so he comes home and blames the wife for every thing

The child flunks in the exams and the blame is put on the tv or games or computers or again the wife is held responsible for not taking care of the children properly.

A marriage fails and every one blames every one.

So on and so forth

It is so easy to pass the buck around

But does making others liable, making other feel guilty ever solve the problem? Will it change what has happened?

It may give momentary relief, it may help let go off the frustrations.

By taking out the anger on someone, by holding someone else responsible for ones misfortunes or mishappenings may relieve the person off some of his stress but it will not help in any way.

Why don’t people realize that what is done cannot be undone?

It is very common and it is human nature to hold others responsible for the twists and turns in one’s life but to go on stressing the same thing again and again day in and day out doesn’t provide a solution

It is necessary to find out the root cause of the problem, it is must to find out the reasons for what caused the issues to surface, it is equally important to find the culprit behind the mishappenings in life for the simple reason that same thing doesn’t happen again.

Punishing the guilty is also a must so as not to have a repeat performance of the same thing.

but after punishing once, after making the person guilty once we, the human beings have the tendency to go on punishing him again and again.

If a child has failed or has done something wrong, it is necessary for parents to shout at him, reprimand him.

If some mistake has been done by the wife or husband it is natural for them to fight, shout ,be angry with other person

BUT is it good for the other persons to chase the guilty person through out daily ?

The guilty person himself will be suffering from his own guilt, he himself will be under tremendous pressure because of his mistakes and to have his guilt being thrown on him daily is like sentencing him to slow death.

Many a times the crisis with one of the family members affects the whole family.

Anything wrong happening with one’s loved one upsets all his near and dear ones.

Why the persons admonishing others don’t think that others may also be concerned about him and worried about what is happening with him.

If instead of continuously blaming others time is spent in finding ways and means to get out of the problem, if alternatives are searched to solve the problem, life will become easier.

Instead of playing the blaming game if the parties involved sit together and discuss the whole issue and explore other options open it will bring more contentment

Instead of making other person guilty it would be better if the key to solve the problem is found.

The clock cannot be turned back, words spoken cannot be taken back, whatever has happened cannot be changed into original stage then why give so much importance to the past?

Why not think about present and the future?

Why can’t we have more and more people like this husband in our life?

12 Comments leave one →
  1. January 24, 2010 3:26 am

    I have always believed the blaming others is a weakness of character, it take strength to own up….if people think introspection, then can blaming they are denying themselves the secon opportunity.

  2. January 24, 2010 3:38 am

    It takes something to accept your mistakes right away, introspect and improve. Some people do this but majority of people pass the buck. this happens right from our governments and other agencies to individuals. Everyone tries to run from the responsibility of getting the mistake corrected. And true that the damage done can rarely be undone.

    Ganapati Bhat

  3. January 24, 2010 4:15 am

    So true… We all tend to blame others so that we are not in trouble. It has been so very well said – “If you want a share of the fame, you’ve got to be willing to take a share of the blame.”

    Blaming others won’t solve problems, it just creates disputes and conflicts…

    Anyway, very insightful post.. Keep them coming! 🙂

  4. January 24, 2010 2:02 pm

    Sure,but this is a habit with those who are weak,those who do not have faith in themselves.
    Every human being must have the guts to own up his/her weakness or fault.

  5. January 24, 2010 8:41 pm

    Good post, Anju. I think it is quite vague the way you say it. After all, everything is realtive and how one person interprets it maybe different from how another one interprets it.
    But you are right, there are many people who are always looking for a scapegoat and someone to blame.

    But the sad part is they never realise it.

  6. January 25, 2010 3:16 am

    Very nice post and I think experience speaks here. This post makes me think before I shout at someone 🙂 . Kudos for your post. I’ll tweet this and spread the word.

  7. January 25, 2010 8:50 am

    Thank you for commenting on my blog post Anuj. I liked your writing style. I always say look within before you put the blame on someone else. Half od our troubles do not end coz of this blame game attitude. keep writing. Best wishes

  8. January 25, 2010 9:37 am

    You see under pressure – logic flies out of the widow.Staying calm under pressure is not something most people excel in.
    most relationships are cause and effect dependent. It take a lot of mental resolve to take the higher ground.Sadly, most people succumb to it at some point or the other – I think to solve this one needs to Acknowledge,accept,address objectively.

  9. Suffix permalink
    January 25, 2010 2:22 pm

    We should think twice before we blame somebody, just unnecessary utterance of words spoil the mood, tarnish the relationship . Thanks for posting such a useful article.

  10. January 27, 2010 3:29 pm

    Great post…. every day I go to work, I think if my boss is going to pass the buck on to me or not? Although I have been lucky many a times, I do get crushed on other instances.

    Absolutely, one should introspect into themselves before passing on the buck. Only if we had been this perfect, the world would have been a better place to live!!

  11. January 27, 2010 7:11 pm

    its human nature
    thoughtful article

  12. February 1, 2010 3:47 am

    Very True.Liked most of your posts related to daily happenings.You can view my articles at

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