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suicides in students— who is responsible?

January 18, 2010

Since last 15 days, not even one day has gone when news of some young  one ending his life has not make the headlines of all the newspapers and the news channels on TV

.    Nine suicides by students in first 7 days of 2010 – dnaindia.com

Not only that, I was shocked to know of cases where parents committed suicide because of their children not getting success in their careers.

In another case a father went into depression because his only child was not serious about his career.

All these blazing news stresses only one thing that the greed to excel is overshadowing the senses of not only the young generation but compelling the matured parents also to loose their senses.

The unending race to achieve more and more, constant desire to reach the top is taking its toll on healthy competition.

Due to the ever increasing competition Students are being pressurized to cross the limits of their capabilities. parents are burning the midnight oil along with their children .

Gone are the days when securing 60% in exams was a matter of pride.

These days a student with 80% marks is considered an average student

Lives and dreams of these over ambitious students and their parents is not only dependent on numbers on the left side of the result but even the  numbers that come after the decimal place has become more important .

Students as well as parents these days go into depression just because they secured some .01% less than the topper.

Mostly the parents are blamed for pushing their children beyond their endurance, beyond their competency.

But what is wrong if parents dream high for their children?

Is it wrong for the parents to see their child as highly successful, well earning, and happily settled individuals?

Someone commented “parents have such a brutal honour system. Children would rather kill themselves than bring shame on the family”

Young students who are not serious about their career, who can’t foresee the difficulties of future have to be guided, forced to study. There is nothing wrong in parents exercising a little more discipline on such students.

There are cases where a slight push, a little guidance, a little more strictness on parent’s parts, a little nagging has helped the child excel in his life.

But then who will decide what is the limit of little nagging, how forceful the slight push should be, what should be the extent of discipline that should be exercised on the child?

Why blame the parents only?

Even the students have become highly achievable oriented, even they have dreams of possessing all the luxuries of life immediately after passing out of the college. Even they want to touch the sky with their efforts.

Both the parents and children are blindly running after their dreams ( at times unattainable because of the competency level of children)

And failure to reach their dream destination forces them to surrender and end their lives.

Of course the over nagging parents, the peer pressure, the desire to achieve more and more are some of the other precipitating factors that forces children to take the most cowardly step –commit suicide.

But up to an extent the media is also responsible for the ever increasing suicide rate. By publicizing such cases media is encouraging the young minds to take this easy (?) step out.

Like any other thing the publicity by media has its pros and cons too.

On one side it is feeding the gullible naive minds of young children with the ideas of seeking the easy way out of facing the life, running away from the hardships of life.

They are making these young ones who succumbed to the challenges of life and ended their life as their role models and are following their footsteps.

But on the other hand it is also forcing the Government to sit upright and think and change its policies (http://www.newkerala.com/news/fullnews-26324.html) (http://www.indiaedunews.net/Today/Students%27_suicides_cause_worry_to_government_10174/)

but what is the solution is the million dollar question?

An appeal to all the students, young people— don’t only think about yourself only but think about your parents, think of those who love you, who live to see the life in your eyes before running away from life.

An appeal to all the parents myself included—- realize the capabilities of your child; don’t expect your child to be the best in the world, don’t see the top most players, top most scientists, Doctors, businessmen etc in your child. Remember every one cannot reach the top. Guide your children; be there for them when they need you.

Don’t push your child so far in pursuit to realize your dreams.

Don’t let such a day arrive in your life that the one to realize your dreams leaves you leaving behind your unrealized dreams, your guilt and his memories.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. shruti permalink
    January 18, 2010 2:18 pm

    SHOCKING anju..never realised all this happening…am so scared of this GEN kids, they are really covered with so much ambition scares me where its leading to….
    Its such a debatable topic, not sure how such things are dealt….
    am happy I never let my parents down, by doing something shameful like the above said but definetey worried, whats in store when I have KIDS…

    Its so tough to see the parents or child suffer…

  2. January 18, 2010 2:20 pm

    3 Idiots movie is the perfect curtain raiser for this topic. The immense pressure put on the students from their parents and society in general is the real culprit of students leading to their suicidal decision.

    I still remember my growing up and being advised (a very gentle word) by my parents to focus to either become an engineer or a doctor. Alas, I am none of them and still successfully in my life and what’s more important is that I enjoy doing what I really wanted to do and moulded my career accordingly.

    I am pretty sure, that with times changing and economy bringing diversities of jobs and fields where young students can excel in, the future is pretty wild for all of us.

  3. January 19, 2010 12:28 am

    Parental pressure, comparison and ridicule by teachers and fellow students, cutthroat competition.

    Also depression is not taken seriously in India. If a child seems upset then it is for parents to notice it first and address it. Instead the child is always reminded that his/her only duty is to study and get good marks because their parents are sacrificing everything for them. This constant emotional blackmailing puts immense pressure on children from a young age.

    Encouraging to study well is one thing and putting pressure to achieve the impossible is another.

  4. January 19, 2010 3:16 am

    Suicides are increasing among the youth. Its really shameful for the society. There are several reasons for that but parental pressure and peer group pressure are the main causes.

  5. January 19, 2010 4:43 am

    Here’s a test – answer the following question spontaneously.

    We as an intelligent progressive society….but wait a minute can we call ourselves that?

    I am guessing most of you will say I guess not…or NO would have certainly come to your mind.There lies the root cause of comparison. Let me explain.

    the need for approval is very high in our society, it is not enough that we do a good job, some one has to be second that.Always,As a result we grow up as a society which seeks approvals on everything….thereby losing confidence on your own ability to judge whether you ve done good or bad.

    simply put – If I have put in 100% of my time & effort, If I am convinced that this is the best I could do – then be happy about it irrespective of the fact whether someone else comes up with a better idea/plan/or grades or mates as the case may be.

    No one can make you a looser unless you “choose” bring it upon yourself.

  6. January 19, 2010 9:41 am

    Anju,
    Daily newspaper bring us so many cases. But really an outsider cannot determine the real causes behind. What the world knows may be very far from the true reality…ayyan

  7. January 19, 2010 10:55 am

    The same thoughts have been going on in my mind also..what to do and what is that slight push……mostly the pressure is because of the way our society is bending towards, consumerism , once we start giving importance to values, ethics , characters, this race wouldnt be the end of everything..today everybody wants to get that high end well paying job.

  8. January 19, 2010 11:16 am

    It is just the pressure to perform.We can blame the parents,but isn’t it true that unless one gets 95% plus, there is a remote chance of getting admission in a good school.
    Theoratically,it is simple to say that the child must be left alone and when he is unable to get admission, parents are the ones who are blamed for not guiding them.
    I think a bit of pressure is good and children must be given postive confidence.

  9. January 19, 2010 6:36 pm

    Madam, I beg to differ, can 90%+ marks create a great career…no…they can’t creativity is not prerogative of marks..

  10. January 21, 2010 11:19 pm

    Some people are like dough, the more force you apply the more shape they will get. Some people are like springs, the more force you apply the more they will bounce back.

    It all depends upon the understanding the parents and kids share. I find it hard to understand the competence of the parents who cannot judge the limits and worth of their kids. if your kid can score 90, then by all means you should be worried if he doesn’t. However if ye kid is not that good at it, and can scrape only 60, then it is down right silly to pester, nag, scold the kid in to studying hard, stressing them in to getting more. Yes the parents may want the kids to score high, top the class, get in to a good college, get a good paying job (which heavens know is not that easy these days), but what they need to understand is that whether they want this for their kids or to display as trophies for themselves.

    Kids on the other hand need ot be more responsible, gone are the days when kids were aloof and gullible upto their late teens. if kids want to be taken seriously from early teens then they need to accept that they need a decent education to get ahead in life. and yes , the academic performance does help out in many ways in this. it’s easy to demand ipods, multpixel camera phones, and games but to earn and to maintain that lifestyle their parents have pampered them with is not easy. it requires money, and they will have to earn it.

    I speak from experience having failed at two subjects in my second year at college. Yes i did feel a little sad, but then i knew that not preparing enough would get me poor grades, and that i would have to work doubly hard now. mom was rightfully mad,. neither of us considered hanging our selves from the fan, or maybe drowning our sorrow in a peg of poison. yes if you fail, you’ll be working hard for some more time but it’s not the end of the world. if you have time and courage to do it all over again, then you should enough common sense to do it right.

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