A tough choice
You have to choose between me or ——-?
A very common ultimatum given by the husband to the wife
- I was watching the movie Avtaar ( Rajesh Khanna and Shabana Azmi) in one of the scenes Rajesh Khanna accuses his wife of betraying him by taking the son’s side.
- In my all time favourite novel The Prodigal daughter, mothers of both the main characters are forbidden by their husbands to have any contact with their child. “You will not see her/him, keep any contact/ he/she will not set foot in the house henceforth. (Although both the mothers did remain in touch with them on a sly without the husband’s knowledge)
- The child doesn’t obey the father or wants to get married to person of his/her choice .father is not ready, asks the grown up son/daughter to leave the house and issues the ultimatum to him/her — No more relation with us. And of course issues order to the wife forget your child otherwise leave my house or better still ,” MERA MARA HUA
Before issuing such an order do they ever think what would be the condition of the wife/mother?
It is like choosing between two eyes or two hands. This or that——-
Husband and children both are equally important to the woman. How can she make a selection?
Worst scenario is when both the husband and children accuses the woman of taking sides.
Husband –, “you always ignore me, you don’t care for me. Your children are more important to you. Or you are taking their side to secure your future, your old age? But remember they will grow up, make their own life and will leave you. Then you will be left with nothing in hand.
Children—-, “obviously you will take father’s side. Are we not important to you? How can you, being our mother, ignore us? You don’t care for us. You are only thinking of your husband and your Pati dharma. You are so selfish. We have read that mother can lay her life for her child and you can’t even take our side—–“
What is the woman suppose to do in such cases?
it is like saying ,” Idhar kuan udhar khai “
More often than not she chooses the husband and then tries to find means and ways to be in touch with her offspring.
Why don’t both the parties sort out their differences without using the wife/mother as a scapegoat?
The husband and children very often condemn the life of a wife/woman and pass it as a easy life.
I am yet to hear of any case where the woman has given such option to select between her and the children.
I wonder whom would he choose?
It would be learning lesson for all the men and the children ( sons and daughters) to put themselves in the shoes of the lady of house before making passing such reckless orders.