a perfect relation
Few months back someone told me “Aunty I Gel so well with my husband, we have the same likes and dislikes, we have the same views about every thing in the life. We both love life, we believe in having the best of every thing and spending on luxuries”, “I just can’t imagine that how can two persons with different likes and dislikes spend their life together. Thank God we both have same attitude towards life”
(What about the physics lesson I learntin my high school—- opposites attract)?
Last week I came to know that they have separated
What went wrong? If every thing was to their liking, if they gelled so well then what was the precipitating factor for their ungelling (if I may use this word)
I know of so many cases where the couples have different take for same situations in the life, they have different set of norms, different attitudes and ofcourse extremely opposite likes and dislikes but they still are with each other for decades together.
And none of them have ever complained that they are not happy or are just continuing with each other for the sake of their children or family or society.
I know different people will have different opinions about this. Some may say that two people with opposite look towards life cannot make a happy married life or they can not adjust to each other.
Some may say that such couples can not be happy but they must be adjusting to each other by compromising with situations.
But what is wrong in making adjustments. Isn’t marriage all about understanding and adjustments.
My husband and I are poles apart in our outlook
I am expressive whereas he doesn’t know how to express at all
I love reading books whereas the only thing he reads is his voluminous law books (although I did make him read a novel Rage of Angles — may be he read it because it had a legal background 😉
Till now he has not read any one of my posts in my blog (actually I have also not asked him to read any)
I love watching off beat/arty/emotional/romantic movies. Whereas he is ever ready to watch thrillers/action packed/ crime based movies
For a vacation I would love to go to a new place where I can do lots of sight seeing whereas he would prefer a place where he can just relax, go for long walks.
I am the most carefree (read careless)/untidy/happy go lucky person whereas he is a perfectionist, prim and proper, disciplined and very methodical in his life. and most of our fights are because of this issue only ( because always I forget where I have kept things rather I am in the habit of misplacing things or safe keeping them in places which I often forget)
But then we have learnt to adjust to each other’s personality traits.
He never interferes with my reading passion or my continuous blogging although he does say that for me blogging has become more important than him ;-(
He manages to sit through all the movies which I drag him along to see (he can not complain as even I sacrifice my time to watch all those crime packed action movies)
He is the one who is always forcing me to find some purpose for my life, going for further studies ( not for the sake of degree but to gain knowledge)
It may sound as if I am singing praises about my husband (today being International Men’s day) but what I am trying to say is that two persons with different outlook, different personalities can also Gel together, it just requires a little adjustment, understanding, giving space to each other in life, allowing other person to grow as an individual and ofcourse lots of love and the desire to be with each other.
Perfectly gelled relations can also break if the I of each person don’t merge with each other to form a perfect WE..