I was watching this movie STEPMOM where the man is divorced has two children and is presently living with his girl friend and wants to get married to his girl friend and he proposes to her and she agrees to it.
In USA living together is not something which is looked down upon it is a very common thing rather I suppose most of the young people are following this unlike in India where fingers are raised, tongues start wagging, the couple has to pass through innumerous scrutinizing looks,neighbours may raise their eyebrows to sky heights etc if they come across a couple who is living together without getting the legal sanction from the society. I feel sometime the parents may also severe their ties with their child if they come to know that he/she is staying with a member of opposite sex.
During my recent stay I met quite a few couples who took the plunge into the matrimonial pit after being and living with each other for 3-4 years
I even surfed quite a lot on this subjectand came across many people who have been living toghether for years and were not happy about it and i also realized that over a period of time one of the people in the duo does start worrying that when will the other person agree to tie the knot?
(I came across a case of a 45 year old lady who was married twice and was now living with a man and she had sought advice that the man in question doesn’t talk about marriage and she was told by many that the man was just passing time with her, he was not the committed sorts and she should leave him if he doesn’t agree to marry her and make a honest woman out of her) Why making a honest woman is all that important?
All these people live and sleep with each other, share household work, share each other’s sorrows and joys. Do every thing which a normal married couple does. Then what is the need to get married?
As ,companionship they do get in their relation, the feeling of coming to an empty house is not there, the fear of dealing with day to day problems is not there, the trauma of loneliness is not there because they do have each other to spend their free time or weekends, and of course the basic sexual needs also get satisfied (obviously the live in relation cannot be a platonic one for years together)
Even here, where live in relations are common people do ask the couple,” “So when are you getting married”. When is the big day? That means marriage is given importance even here also.
What is it, which forces the couple to formalize or legalize their relation? I wonder why so?
What is the need to get married? Why do they think that marriage is important?
That means there is something in life which only a sacred relation like marriage provides to the people which is surely lacking in the otherwise perfect live in relation?
Is it the need for respect in the society/ a feeling of security/ stability in life? Or the desire to raise a family, to have children?
I think that if two people will not marry with each other and just spend life together then they are named girlfriend and boyfriend, which is neither a powerful relationship (this relationship can be split any time. The freedom to break this relation is always there in the back of mind of the couple) nor does it provide social security, social respect or a constant reminder that they have to try their best to make this relation work.
I think marriage provides a foundation for a more secured future, it compels people to become sensitive to other person’s needs, feelings, it makes people more accomodative, adujusting and inculcates a feeling of understanding and compromise.
If someone thinks that, he/she don’t need anyone in their life and can spend life alone without marriage then, that person is totally wrong. Because it is the need of our body and mind that, we need someone to fulfill our desire and needs.
And without marriage it creates so many problems. Marriage isn’t only about the man and wife but it is about the family if you get married Then you can take care of your family, your parents And your siblings if necessary. But if you don’t get married You will always be thinking about yourself and looking after your self.
Marriage does provide stability to otherwise flimsy relation The legal institution of marriage creates an expectation of fidelity and lifelong commitment. This fact fosters “better romantic and parental relationships” than cohabitation. I think married adults enjoy happier, healthier and less violent relationships than do those who are dating or cohabiting.
I am a strong advocate and staunch believer of the institution called as marriage so live in relations is just not my cup of tea
I would like every body who is reading this post to share their opinion about this. Married or unmarried both.
If, unmarried they what do think about this ? do they think marriage is important ? if yes then why?
And, if they are married then what they have gained in life after getting married? Why is marriage important? What does marriage gives which the other relations don’t?
I AM WAITING SO I AM SURE OTHERS WILL ALSO LOOK FORWARD FOR THE FEED BACK