my first post from Boston
My first post from Boston.
. This time there was no excitement of going to a foreign country,As this was the second visit. I still remember the first visit. I was so nervous. Was not at all aware of the various formalities involved, immigration, halt at Zurich for 6 hours. Just thinking about the whole journey used to give me nightmares.
But this time I just walked as if this has become a part of my life. As if it is a daily routine.( although this was only the second visit)
Husband dear called me after dropping me and said,” it doesn’t feel any different at all. It just seems you are on one of your flying visits to Delhi or Baroda and I have come back after dropping you at railway station” ( I am scared does it mean he will not miss me for full month ;-( , agar bhul gaye to? )
I landed at Boston airport with mixed feelings.
Only a mother would be able to understand what I was undergoing .Meeting one child and missing the other one whom I had left in India. Excitement of meeting Neha after 9 months. My heart was overflowing with love which I was not able to shower on her from last 9 months.
9 months—— same period as my pregnancy duration and the feeling was the same. I wanted so much to see how she looks like? Will she have changed? How will I react when I will see her?
But I was missing Ujjwal my son also. 😉 And ofcourse husband dear. It was almost 24 hours and I hadn’t fought and argued with him. Aise kaise chalega? How will I manage for full one month? Thank God for small mercies like phones. We can still feel alive and close to each other by having our innumerable arguments on the phone .;-)
During my journey I was reminded of the dialogue from HUM AAPKE HAI KAUN , “ yeh mun bhi kitna paagal hai, jitna milta hai usse jyada pane kea aas rakhta hai” Neha bhi chahiye and Ujjwal bhi. Why Can’t I get back the good old days when we all were together?
Yes I am missing Ujjwal also. ( Neha don’t feel bad but you both are important to me and integral part of meand as i often say you both are like my two eyes. both are equally dear and must for me)
They both often say that I love the other one more. But is it possible for a mother to differentiate between her two children? Is it possible for a mother to love one child more than the other? I don’t think so?
When I am with Ujjwal I miss Neha at each step. Eating, sleeping, when I am out on shopping, I want her besides me every where.
But now when I am with her I am missing him. How will he be managing? What about his food? Suppose he doesn’t like the food cooked by the new cook, who will wake him in the morning for college, who will support him during his vivas? (come on Anju he is an adult, and his father is there to take care of him.)
Husband always says don’t worry so much and remember you are not indispensable. We will manage without you.
But frankly I don’t want that too. I want them to miss me at each and every step. I want them to say , “ we are not able to manage without you” ( Greedy and selfish me)
But I am here on vacation and I know Neha is going to pamper me like a cherished flower. I suppose both of us will do the same for each other.
Enough of my emotionalism. May be it is the cocktail of jet lag , homesickness and excitement of being with Neha which has made me so emotional.
But Will bounce back with my usual vigor after few hours.