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MY DREAM OF A SECURED HAVEN FOR ELDERS

June 25, 2009

“Four months and 8 senior citizens murdered in Mumbai “ today’s breaking news

“In Delhi on an average one case in 15 days of senior citizens being looted or murdered” another news

We cannot just shy away from these shattering statistics. This statistic forces all of us to take a pause and think.

In India these days due to incept of nuclear families, young generation going abroad or in another cities for better career growth, or the trend of enjoying independent life has forced the parents to live all alone.

In good old golden days we had joint families system, so the problem of loneliness, segregation, were not there and we could not think of leaving our parents to live their life alone . A whole lot of family members were there to take care of each other in times of sickness or other family crisis.

But now it has become very common to find old parents staying alone in big houses at the mercy of servants, fending for themselves on their own, managing their health, wealth issues on their own and taking care of each other on their own and becoming easy target for the thieves and criminals.

The young generation involved with their own nuclear families, their jobs, their ambitions, their life style visit their parents once in a year ( if settled abroad) or once in a week that too out of sheer moral duty ( with most of the times no feelings) .They think that visiting or sending money or talking on the phone regularly relieves them of their duties and responsibilities.

I am not saying that children should not dream of achieving their ambitions and live the way they want or think about their future or thier children’s.

But some solution has to be found to save the parents becoming easy prey for cheating, theft, loneliness, getting emotionally blackmailed by people who will play on their emotions and finally succumbing to getting murdered.

With the changing times and globalization this problem is going to be there and parents will often find themselves in such situations and children will be in a fix whether to explore their dreams or give up their ambitions for parents.

Parents are not selfish that they will restrict the growth of their children for their own personal needs. Afterall it is their dream to see their children well settled and florish.

I have my own ideas to deal with this issue.

If the children are staying in the same city then if possible they should stay in the same neighborhood so that the young ones can enjoy their independence and parents have the security that the children are there when ever they need them.

And most important my Dream From last so may days I have been nurturing a dream. A dream of providing friendly, secured environment to this vulnerable section of our society.

(Now please don’t laugh) after all dreams know no boundaries. I can venture any where.

I dream that I have had a windfall of money and with the millions of Rupees which I have got; I am constructing a huge residential complex with half of it earmarked for senior citizens only. (Rest for young generation with small children)

I dream of having a building complex where such lonely parents will live in their individual flats but will share the joys and sorrows of each other with other fellow lonely senior citizens, they will share all festivals together, be there for others to take care in times of sickness (after all the children are not there to look after them) The members will either help each others or employ someone who will assist them in paying the bills, insurance premiums, bank work etc

The complex will be equipped with all necessary shops (grocery, chemist, tailor, barber, doctor) A proper security system will be there to safe guard them.

A common club house where there will be yoga, meditation classes, or some other facilities for the senior citizens to pursue their hobbies and interests.

The complex will have young generation also staying (all those nuclear family believers) to provide the bubbly youth environment to the inmates and bring back the smiles back on their faces. The presence of small children will help the elders forget their own grand children and they will get a chance to pamper the kids (the way the parents would have done if their own grandchildren were there)

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM WORLD AND VERY FAR FETCHING?

Any takers for this idea? Do you thing this is feasible?

or do you have some solution for this burning problem which is bothering the Police, the judiciary, the new set of parents who are on the thresh hold of entering the category of lonely parents and of course the children who are in a dilemma whether to pursue their dreams or trade their ambitions for their duties and responsbilies

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15 Comments leave one →
  1. Swatantra permalink
    June 25, 2009 4:51 pm

    Hi,

    Your thoughts are amazing!! If we can take care of the senior citizens in our own places we live, i believe your dream can come true. I will give an example from my own life, few days back i saw an elderly uncle asking for a glue from a vegetable vendor. I could not take the way the vendor was talking to the uncle ( very unpolite manner). So i went ahead and asked him what he need and gave him glue from my own house. Requested him if he needs anything he can depend upon me..

    May all your dreams come true and we have a world full of love and care!!

  2. Ashish permalink
    June 25, 2009 6:36 pm

    The idea is very noble and the very cause of taking care of the folks that have struggled their entire life to give us the dream future that we live in this present will overwhelm all our priorities for this.

    Let me know if I can be of any help to fulfill this dream as I know, I'll get old too one day for my son/daughter to take care of me.

  3. Gayathri permalink
    June 25, 2009 7:49 pm

    i dunno if i sound conceivable or not..but this had been what my dad had been telling all along.. of a residential complex,with enough facilities and formally arranged security and mental and moral nurturing.. he was even discussing them with his frnds here..but as u said,realizing the dream seems far fetched..
    howsoever we support the nuclear family concept,the good old parental support and the moral grounds thats cemented in the kids by the grandparents is irreplaceable.. i owe my grandparents a lot for whatever good has happened in my character.. it's not so with a child who grows in a baby sitting..

  4. ZiLliOnBiG permalink
    June 26, 2009 6:01 am

    I wish you that your dream comes true.
    The biggest negative of nuclear family is the negligence of the elderly, but i guess with lesser number of kids, parents would be taken care when they are old.

    Your dream can come true,buts a long struggle and one would require to make many many sacrifices. It takes an extreme amount of courage to become someone like Mother Taresa.

  5. Philip permalink
    June 26, 2009 8:05 am

    most of the violence against elders is because the kids are too busy with their lives and leave them without adequate protection. or sometimes the kids are out of the country.

    i think better networking among the elderly, some nifty anti theft equipment can go a long way in preventing such crime.

    and most of all such crimes are committed by the househelp. a good background check is necessary before employing someone.

  6. AnjuGandhi permalink
    June 26, 2009 1:22 pm

    Hi ZillionBig i have no dreams of becoming Mother Teresa. our most of the frnds are staying alone these days as either the daughters have got married or sons have taken up jobs at far off places. so during one of our regular meets i just told them lets book flats in a society where all of us lonely parents can stay together and be there for each other. so the idea took birth.
    @Philip you are right better networking about elderly is necessary. That is why the Police department has appealed to all senior citizens to ask the visitors at their place to ring the neighbours door bell also so that neighbours know who has come. although it is too tiresome, but something has to be done to safeguards the elders.

  7. ZiLliOnBiG permalink
    June 26, 2009 1:31 pm

    WOW, thats a fabulous idea. Anju.

    You will get back the days that you lost when you were very young.
    I believe since your kids have grown up, you can get back to your own life.Give it a try and let us know. You would inspire many lonely couples.:)))

  8. magicalsummer permalink
    June 26, 2009 2:46 pm

    a grand idea anju, and one that builders could do well to take note of – i'm sure there's a huge demand for safe, integrated living

  9. Zeba Talkhani permalink
    June 26, 2009 3:04 pm

    Very nice post. I really hope and pray that your dreams come true.

  10. Tiger permalink
    June 27, 2009 2:17 am

    I love the way you post. Its really ruthless attacking helpless elder citizens for money. Government should ensure they are secure in their best years of life. Staying alone isn't their crime. Children should take proper care of their parents and make sure they are safe. With a few simple guidelines and effort they should be safe.

  11. DPhatsez permalink
    June 27, 2009 10:05 am

    Dreams don't die.
    Your ideas are certainly feasible. As always,with all things practical, prudence and integrity are essential. Else even the most noblest of intentions turn awry.
    To a better future…

  12. Zeba Talkhani permalink
    June 27, 2009 12:18 pm

    You have been TAGGED!!!!

  13. Neha permalink
    June 28, 2009 3:13 pm

    well Anju, all we need is a bit of try n a big heart for achieving this beautiful dream…and yes, it is going to be possible one day…we may not be able to make a complex, but at least we will be able to build one room for them…such an effort by each individual wil solve everything…great thought and great post 🙂

  14. January 21, 2010 4:05 pm

    I am impressed and would love to share this post where ever I can. may all your dreams come true. If yound people like you spread the word and think so wisely society will go for a remarkable change. kudos to you young man. great post again.

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  1. parents vs children — is there a way out? « Awakening

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