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SIBLING RIVALRY OR SIBLING HARMONY

June 9, 2009

Mukesh Ambani v/s Anil Ambani, Pramod Mahajan v/s Pravin Mahajan, Atulaya Mafatlal v/s Ajay Mafatlal —— all of them have many things in common. They are well known personalities of India but more important than that is the fact that they share the same umbilical cord (they all are siblings) And they all are deeply indulged in family feuds.

Their fights, whether family or business have become talk of the whole nation.
While reading about them I wondered how come they, who are brothers and brothers or brother and sister, stoop down so low as to make their sibling altercation public.

Right from birth they must have shared the same love, same caring, same affection and most of the time same disciplinary rules (In India we do have certain differentiation in restrictions imposed on boys and girls otherwise for boys same rules applies)

They must have been the best of friends; must have shared their childhood secrets, their fears, their mistakes, wrongs committed by them,

Why talk about them only, take example of any two siblings

They are the ones who are partners in various mischiefs done during growing up days, they hide each other’s secrets, they take each other’s side when confronted with high authorities (read parents), at times they even take blame on themselves for the misdeeds of others and they are even ready to fight with outsiders for each other, They stand up to each other.

Of course between them they must have had their little squabble on various petty issues like books, pencils. Pens, erasers, clothes and if little grown up then girl friends or boyfriends. They may have hidden each other’s things or blamed each other for the fault committed by them. But Sibling rivalry is very common among children

Many a times parents are accused of being partial towards one child thus neglecting other one.

These are all inherent within a family. But they are never considered a big issue. No parent can boost of non existence of sibling rivalry between his progeny.
Despite of all the bickering, physical fights, and arguments the young sibling always remains as one in front of outside world. They fight but soon they make up and become best of the pals.

Then what happens when they grow up? Why do they become sworn enemies of each other?
Why do they resort to mudslinging on each other?

Mostly the feuds between brothers are over property (Mafatlals) ,money, business (Ambanis) or fame(Mahajans).

Does the possession of material things, big bank balances or fame more important than the love and affection between them.

This sort of competition is not only prevalent between brothers and brothers but very common in brothers and sisters too.

During growing up Brothers and sisters are the shadow of each other, they are ready to do anything for each other, they go out of their way to help each other, they are the soul mates of each other, they remain awake the whole night to give company to other during exams etc but once the brother or sister is married the equation changes.

After some time the inseparable brother and sister change so much that they can’t stand the sight of each other. Bickering, animosity, bitterness replaces the love and affection between them.

Does the entry of a husband or wife intrude the blood relation? Does the other sibling think that the entry of a new comer will rock the relation between the siblings? Is their relation so shaky that mere presence of an outsider will tilt their otherwise solid foundation.

Jealousy, feeling of competition, self importance, difference of opinion, desire for high achievement, inferiority complexes, success egos and many more reasons are the cause of rivalry in adults

But one thing is sure that the rivalry which was there during childhood continues to burn deep. And it erupts again when they grow up. In some cases new rivalries pop up. When sibling rivalry persists into adulthood, the conflict and self-doubts can be devastating

Have the siblings ever thought how much torturous,painful and heart breaking it would be for the parents to watch their offspring , their loved ones whom they have nurtured with their own blood to indulge in fights over flimsy issues, character assassination and defamation of each other resulting in animosity between generations to come.

Why do such siblings bent upon disproving the statement that BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. Milan permalink
    June 9, 2009 5:34 pm

    Love the post. Blood is indeed thicker than water but with passage of time the meaning of this quote changes in the minds of siblings. They get so engrossed in petty events related to relationships that they loose the insight into what used to be the most important relation in their life. Still the question and mystery remains unsolved as we have seen it with several examples as posted here – is there a way to change it or earn back what we have lost – the immortal love and affection of your own blood…..

  2. Ms. Neha Gandhi permalink
    June 9, 2009 5:40 pm

    whoaaa lady …u r on a roll…
    how did u come up with such a topic and have such stong feeling on it…

    i think in the case of these people… after a certain point in time… everything takes a back seat…but ur business/powerful position…
    so their eyes are blinded by driving force to attain these…and hence brother/sister/parents/friend…et all are just rivals aka competitors…
    as they say…no place for emotions in the game of business…
    also…it could be attributed to each one's individual perspective…whats important to own is very subjective…to some its relationships…and to some its the power…

  3. Zeba Talkhani permalink
    June 9, 2009 7:56 pm

    I have always felt the same. Even I used to wonder. good post mam. Loved reading it.

  4. ramya permalink
    June 10, 2009 5:11 am

    i thought the same thing when I saw the "Fabulous life of Ambani" show on MTV… is these two brothers merge..forget the ckintons!.. these brothers will be the richest!

  5. Aw.S.M permalink
    June 10, 2009 5:21 am

    I guess blood aint as thick as we thought eh 🙂 esp in the world we live in nowadays..its brutal and survival of the fittest is the theory one lives by..be it wrt to a random stranger or ur own brother.

    But i have a sis and i know come wat may i ll always stick around for her. 🙂

    As always great stuff maam 🙂

    luv
    amith

  6. ZiLliOnBiG permalink
    June 10, 2009 7:19 am

    Nice post. But i feel in Nature there is nothing called a sibling attachment or love. Take the example of any animal, after they are grown to some extend they fight for food, mate, water to an extend when they kill each other. I think the only natural love and attachment is that of a mother and its child.or to some extend between a male or a female for mating purposes. I think it holds true for Humans as well. We have a natural instinct to compete with our siblings for everything.

    I think its this manifestation that one sees in these sibling revelries.

    BTW, Nicely written, a journalistic probe into the matter. i can see a maturity evolving in you choice of topics. Go on, cheers:))

  7. ZiLliOnBiG permalink
    June 10, 2009 7:25 am

    what i meant was, we share a very strong link with animals. we are very much instinctive whether its for food, sex, space and unlike animals we continue to love our mother (parents) because of our strong memories. i think we show our basic instincts when we fight(compete) with our siblings. Sibling rivalry is so very common around us. At least its there between my fathers and mothers family.( between uncles and aunties):)))

  8. Aparna permalink
    June 10, 2009 2:29 pm

    I like your template Anju.
    At times I feel the parents are to be blamed for not creating a bond between the warring siblings, but i may be wrong. No parent would want the kids to fight over money property or fame. I have 2 daughters and I can only hope that they remain as close as they are now when they grow up.

  9. Mia permalink
    June 10, 2009 3:09 pm

    i could feel a deep concern n a boilin blood behind it.. Loved d post! Atleast we ppl(current generation) must follow this.. lest d relationship chain wud definitely break into pieces.. thoughtful topic..

  10. david mcmahon permalink
    June 11, 2009 3:43 am

    It's a bit like the hit TV series `Brothers And Sisters' …..

  11. Mia permalink
    June 11, 2009 2:08 pm

    Thank you for the endorsement comment on my blog for d recent one 🙂

  12. Quest permalink
    June 11, 2009 6:36 pm

    I love to fight with my sisters 🙂
    I used to get beaten up mercilessly by them 😉

    Quest

  13. Quest permalink
    June 11, 2009 6:42 pm

    Good to see such a flow of posts….

    Truly mothers are a wonderful beings 🙂 the best manager in the world

    The generation next -youth of today is driven by style, glamour and pleasure…

    I first met Munshi at school then got a book of stories by him which I finished in one sitting 🙂

  14. Amit permalink
    June 12, 2009 1:13 pm

    I want to subscribe to your blog but it doesnt seem friendly to do so. Please add the tab. Anyways , u write great.. 🙂

  15. Durga Nandan permalink
    June 13, 2009 3:12 pm

    Money and power corrupt.
    They, had both. 🙂

  16. DPhatsez permalink
    June 14, 2009 12:40 am

    Blood? Oh what's a drop here and there..
    It's no longer family ties, it's money ties.

    Speaking of sibling rivalry, I haven't spoken to my brother in ages.
    No fued just a generation gap 🙂

  17. Pari permalink
    June 16, 2009 6:34 am

    Sorry for being redundant..but your choice of topics are really 'cool' 🙂
    I like the way you are using this medium as the right source for putting forth your ideas to the masses !!
    And well, as far as sibling rivalry is concerned, I can't imagine such a thing existing in my jargon..but I have seen cases wherein blood relations just do not matter..I think its money that drives man crazy and that probably is the lead factor for these probs!!! Sad, the parents bear it all….

  18. shilpa permalink
    June 17, 2009 12:36 pm

    I cannot imagine any amount of material wealth or any misunderstanding big enough to cause a rift with my sister.
    But like most commentators have said here, I have seen these sibling rivalries from close quarters to understand that they do exist in common middle class families as well.

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