who should die first the wife or the husband?
Disclaimer I have no intention to hurt any one’s feelings or sentiments
While talking to one old widower and another old widow, the idea of this post came
Most of the ladies love and pamper their husbands to no limits, they take care of him (husband),look after his medicines, keep an eye on his movements, monitor his intake of foods, help him select his clothes etc etc. control his cholesterol, sugar , force him to go for walks . In general the wife makes the husband totally dependent on her.
They will rush home after any outing – “he must have come home, I have to give him his tea “
The wife always says “I want to die before my husband, Suhagan marna chahti hu”.
Has she ever thought that if she dies before the husband who will take care of him once she goes? She has made him so much dependent on her, rather made him handicapped to the extent that he will not take his medicine on his own.
Doesn’t she realize that once she dies the husband will be left alone with no one to take care of him, give him medicines?
How can the same woman who can’t bear the thought of leaving her husband alone for a single day think about leaving him for a lonely life without her?
Actually the best solution to save the old couples from depression because of death of the partner,is that the couple should die together so that no one suffers the loneliness, the feeling of left alone, the isolation and the depression
While the point is well taken, I am not sure whether the solution you propose will work. Will it not take us back to the days of Sati? You are forgetting that there are relations like sons and daughters. Husband or wife does not live just for one another; they live for theirs children, brothers and sisters as well.
the solution which i wrote was written in good humour. i know this is not possible. the entire post was written in a lighter mood
but when u talk about sons and daughters
it is a common observation that the old parents generally feel isolated, left alone by their sons
and very often old parents are being abused not physically but emotionally ofcourse
and yes it is not possible that both die at the same time
and I am going against our Indian culture when i talk of husband going before the wife
but once again the post was written in good humour
You are right but I really do not know why the age old practice is still followed that the age of girl at the time of marriage should be less than that of boy. Idea may be that the man should die first ! Idea of dying together is ‘Suicidal’ which I do not subscribe.
good conversation Anju
The fact is that more women, being younger, outlive their spouses than men do. In the past this was convenient because the man had the wife to take care of him and the wife was supposed to have the daughter in law to take care of her.
I think it might help for the couple to have a social circle and plenty of friends in the same age so that they are not alone if one of them were to die earlier. I also feel marriages for companionship would be a very good idea for widows and widowers. In Gujarat I read there is an organisation helping senior citizens find live-in companions in their old age. That sounds like a nice idea. I think many Indian children might object to their parents remarrying because they might fear their inheritance being shared or snatched.
i dittoo ur thoughts about remarrying
although in Indian culture it seems like a dream.
i know of a Indian couple settled in America who got married to each other after they lost their respective partners and they were both 60+ and they are really a true example of happily after
companionship is most important and much needed after the age of 60
Totally agree!!!
Haha…ask me who should die first
Everything is immaterial and unintended, unwanted and unnecessary attachment. Why to live with a fear of what will happen when I’ll be alone or he/she will be alone and I won’t be around to take care.